11 Things That Affect Happiness

"The key to happiness is work-life balance." "It's not about the upbringing you had; it's about the choices you make." "Getting enough sleep will make you happier." "Money can buy you happiness, as long as you make at least $75,000 a year."

These are all conclusions found in studies on what it takes to be happy. To us, it seems like a lot of stuff to focus on just to get our smile on. However, it's true that everything life throws at us does affect our mood. So, to get us out of our funk, we went to Gretchen Rubin, author of "The Happiness Project," who spent a year dedicated to figuring out exactly what it takes to be happy. (Hint: Sometimes it actually is more than "the little things in life").

Before we talk about happiness, how can you tell if you're generally happy or not? Life can be kind of a roller coaster, no?
When asked if they are happy, most people will say they are either "pretty happy" or "happy" and I think people are surprised by that. It's about self reflection. When you're having a good day, ask yourself "why was today happier than yesterday?" "What could I do to make myself happier?" One thing that makes a difference is giving yourself more energy. Getting enough sleep and exercise is really important. If you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed or tired, that's not a good sign.

In your year of doing your happiness project, what was the most challenging part of it?
The resolutions I picked were very manageable. There were no impossible tasks. I think the biggest challenge was deciding to do things, like actually stop gossiping versus just saying I would do it. Or actually writing a blog post every day. It's about the mental shift and actually doing what you say you'll do.

So is it about training your mind in a way?
It's hard to train your mind. So for me, I focus on actions. You can't just change your emotions, but you can change your actions, which can change your mental state. People are always saying "I want to get more joy out of life," but how do we do that? I find it's easier to have accountability if you are focusing on something specific. For instance, you say to yourself, "I will be happier if I play with my dog for 20 minutes every morning before I go to work." Then, you can measure to see if you did it and if it made a difference in your overall happiness.

What was the most surprising conclusion you came to?
Novelty and talent bring happiness. Changing something, testing something, developing a new talent--all of those things bring happiness.

I'm going to list off a bunch of things and you can tell me how they can affect happiness.
Okay.

A Job
Not having work can certainly be a happiness challenge and having work can contribute greatly to happiness. We spend so much time at work, if you like what you do you'll be a generally happier person.

A Romantic Relationship
Well, you can definitely be happy without one, but it's also clear that strong relationships with other people are a key to happiness. So for that one, most special relationships can make a difference. Married people tend to be happier and happy people tend to get married sooner and have happier marriages on the whole.

Are happy people more attractive?
People are absolutely attracted to happier people. You'd think people might be annoyed by happy people, but it's the opposite. They have more energy and they're more fun to be around.

Okay, back to the list: Exercise
It's important for happiness. Studies say "it's correlation, not causation," but I will say this, everyone I know who exercises regularly says they need to more for the way it affects them mentally than for the way it does physically. Things like stress and anxiety, which can be curbed by exercise, contribute to unhappiness.

Money
Not having it can be a negative, but once you have it, it won't necessarily give you a boost. But used wisely it can contribute to happiness.

What do you mean, "used wisely"?
There are three things, really:
1. What kind of person are you? Someone who rents movies at home is different than someone who likes to visit foreign countries.
2. What are you spending your money on? Spending on a dog will probably make you happier than spending your money on cocaine. Buying a dining room table might give you less joy than going on a trip with your family.
3. How much money you have in comparison to those around you and to your own past. It contributes to how you perceive your situation to be.

There is no certain number that makes people happy: $75,000 to some people is a fortune, to others it's a disaster. It's definitely the most complicated relationship, money with happiness.

What about sex?
More sex makes people happier than less sex, generally speaking, And married people have more sex than single people, which could contribute to why they are happier.

Dessert
To me, dessert does not make me happier. It's dangerous to "treat yourself" to something because that means you're doing something that you know won't make you happy, like buying something you can't afford, or eating something unhealthy, or having that beer you know you shouldn't have.

Where You Live
Location makes a big difference. A bad commute can really bring people down. People are resilient and can learn to take something in stride, but a bad commute is sometimes really tough.

Making Your Bed

This is the most common resolution that people have done from my book. I would not have thought that would be the case, but it's something manageable, concrete and it allows you to take control. And your bed is symbolic of yourself, so people take ownership over it.

Smells
That's a good one! Smells are really powerful, but I've never really focused on smells. I know I'm extremely affected by bad smells. I remember when we first moved into our apartment I was in total despair because our dishwasher smelled horrible! I'll have to go get some books on the psychology behind smells.

Photographs
There was a study that tried to induce good moods in people by doing various things and the only thing that really worked was showing photographs of loved ones. Also photos of nature, especially in offices that don't have windows. Anything that brings up happy memories from the past can make you happy.

A Smart Phone
Technology is a good servant, but a bad master. Managing technology can be a challenge but it can definitely bring you happiness. You just don't want it to distract too much from your life.

A Clean Kitchen
I'm a big believer that outer order contributes to inner calm. So a clean kitchen can make a difference!

What have you found makes people most unhappy?
Difficult personal relationships and chronic pain--these are two things aside from traumatic events that can cause unhappiness.

Is happiness generational?
Older people tend to be happier. The theory behind that is you know who you are and you've accepted yourself. You also know you don't have forever so you spend time on things that are truly important.

What do you personally believe you need in order to be happy?
1. Get enough sleep.
2. Work on your relationships with other people. Strong relationships is one of the biggest contributors to happiness, so if you don't have many strong relationships, do things to build some into your life and work to strengthen existing relationships.
3. Find a place in your life that allows for an atmosphere of growth. Fixing, helping someone or something, learning something new, challenging yourself in some way--it doesn't matter where you are in your life, change for the better creates an engine for happiness.

Gretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book,"The Happiness Project," is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier.