A Sex Writer Who Vows To Keep Loving Until She Gets it Right

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Q: Where are you from?
I was born on the beautiful, exotic Island of Jamaica.

Q: Biggest accomplishment you achieved on your own?
I would say definitively that my greatest accomplishment is being a single mother who did not get lost and bitter in the struggle to hold it all together. I worked long and hard to provide financially for my family, still made my children a priority, and have an active social life.

Q: Name three things that a man can do on a date that would make you lose interest?
I love this question. The last date I went on was with a 6’5 hunk of a successful investment banker who was finishing up medical school. He looked fantastic on paper and I’d spent hours talking to him on the phone and was really feeling this guy. The date died an immediate death when he opened his mouth and assaulted me with bad breath. Bad breath is a no, no. In fact, anything that smells is a no, no. Taking phone calls and talking with his friends when he’s with me is unacceptable. And he must look presentable. If I’m not physically attracted to someone there’s no need to take it further.

Q: When it comes to dating, do you think that text messaging and instant messaging is good or bad?
I’m big on communication. So I welcome any means that will allow me to communicate with my partner. Romance is ongoing whether he’s near or far. I dated a guy who traveled quite a bit and texting became a nice way to romance him while he was away. I would send him thoughtful messages, like I’m thinking about you, I’m missing you today…I would like to take your pants off kind of messages.

Q: What do you love most about being single?
Unlike most women I know, being single is an absolute fun time for me. I enjoy doing things on my own. I go to movies, museums, plays, catch up with friends. And it also gives me an opportunity to jump back on the dating scene and take a look at what’s out there. Being a single woman is play time.

Q: Best spot to dine out alone in your area?
Hmm. This is a tough one. I don’t know if I would call the places I visit the best places to dine out alone. I enjoy fine dining and I have no problem walking into a four star restaurant and request a table for one. I seldom see people eating alone no matter where I go except, perhaps to fast food places which I seldom visit. I think that any place is the right place. It’s not the place, it’s the thinking. People don’t want to eat alone because they’re afraid of what others may think of them. I just don’t care.

Q: What advice would you give to singles that have put their lives on hold until “they meet the one?"
I absolutely love this question, Sherri. I can talk about this all day long. Life cannot be put on hold for anything. When we attempt to put life on hold, it passes us by. I also don’t believe that there’s a “the one.” I believe that we get many opportunities at love. The magic trick is to get back on the horse. I’m not saying that it’s easy. But chances are, if we date enough, we will find someone with whom we are compatible. “The one” is not going to fall out of the sky. That’s why putting one’s life on hold until they meet ‘the one’ is counterproductive. We have to get out, be approachable, let men know that we’re on the market. Date, date, and date as much as possible. Don’t be discouraged by the frogs you may have to kiss along the way. Kiss the frogs and move on to the next one. I would tell them to keep on loving until they get it right.

Q: Any self-confidence boosters for people who suffer dating jitters?
It’s normal for some people to suffer from dating jitters especially if they’ve been out of the dating game for a while. But the only way to get back in the game is to get back in the game. Put your best foot forward, be confident in who you are, know that you are special and anyone would be lucky to have you. Know the value that you bring to the table. I know that this answer is very broad, but I seriously believe that it all starts with the way we think and feel about ourselves. I tell people all the time…no one is going to give you self-esteem, confidence, and courage. There are things we all have and can call upon at will.

Q: Breaking up with friends is one of the hardest things to do. What’s the best way to handle it?
Breaking up with anyone is hard to do. I don’t break up with my friends unless the friendship is toxic to my personal growth. For example, I do not hang around people who are negative all the time about everything and are not supportive of me. I have had friends like these I simply stop hanging out with them. If I were asked directly, why don’t you want to be friends with me? I would tell the truth.

Q: How does one bounce back when all of their friends suddenly gets married?
I’m actually going through that situation right now. My last single friend just got engaged. And I’ve already lost him. There’s not much to do, but let go.   It’s a sad lonely place to be. But all we can do is accept that that’s the way it is, things change, life takes us in different directions. We live with it and, over time build new relationships.

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A Sex Writer Who Vows To Keep Loving Until She Gets it Right

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