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A She-Friendly Home Improvement Guide for Bachelors

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The cute neighbor across the hall knocks on your door and asks for some coffee. Does your house look like it’s been turned upside down? Are your cabinets stocked with staples or supplies so you can leverage the opportunity? Can you seduce her into conversation by offering her a nice glass of wine?

 

Guys, it’s time to make sure your home is friendly for female houseguests. Whether you’re expecting company or not, luck and love can all boil down to a tiny packet of sweet and low.  Here is a guide that will help you turn your man cave into a she-friendly zone.


NEED TO HAVE NICE TO HAVE HAVE TO HIDE
LINENS Extra set of clean sheets Spare blanket just in case she sleeps on the couch Any stained linens or bedroom toys that may linger from a previous life
Two fresh spare towels Small face towel Ratty towels, bathroom mat and shower liner/curtain as well as toilet bowl plunger
BATHROOM Extra toothbrush, dental floss & mouth wash Contact lens solution & fresh case Neti pot or any products/devices used for irrigating the nasal passages
Air freshener Scented candle X-rated bathroom reading material
Shampoo & conditioner Other hair care products such as blow dryer, hair serum, spray, gel and/or mousse Electronic hair trimmers, nail clippers and Propecia
Tampons Advil to relieve the pain Condoms and Viagra
Fresh bar of soap Hand lotion, body cream & bath gel Sexual Lubricants and oils
Tylenol and Aspirin Benadryl & Band-Aids in case of an emergency Anti-anxiety and depression meds
Cotton balls & Q-Tips Baby oil or Vaseline for instant makeup removal and other things Cover-up and girly cosmetics you sometimes use
LIQUOR CABINET One (or more) bottle(s) of red, one bottle of white, kept cold Champagne or desert liqueur like Bailey’s Irish Cream or Frangelico The total number of beer bottles you have in your home
One (or more) bottle(s) of hard alcohol such as Vodka or Tequila. Tonic water/seltzer, ice and other mixers such as cranberry, orange or lime juice. Your priciest, most sentimental wine bottles you may wish to save
Set of wine glasses Champagne Flutes, Margarita and/or Martini Glasses Tacky paraphernalia you picked up during Spring Break
KITCHEN Sweet 'N Low Diet Soda Breath savers like mints and gum should be tucked away
Coffee & Coffee Machine A good selection of herbal teas Any other illegal stimulants or weeds
Milk/Cream English muffins, toast, cereal and breakfast bars. Breakfast items you may be using to help stay regular
One Non-Stick Pan Essential cooking utensils and appliances such as set of pots, ladle, vegetable peeler, collander, mini-chopper and blender The fondue kit you got from your ex-girlfriend
Non-perishable snacks like popcorn, crackers &  nuts Fresh food snacks like fruit, cheese, yogurt, olives, hummus, baby carrots Traces of leftover food such as pizza boxes and Chinese take-out cartons that may be spoiled or rotten
Set of matching dishes that serves four Cheese tray and knives and/or sushi serving set The stack of dirty dishes that’s piling up in your sink.

 

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