Best Public Restrooms

My needs are few. I am not high maintenance. Jewels are not my thing and manicures quite frankly are a huge pain in my ass. There are no double processed highlights on this head or a fascination for fancy handbags. I can pretty much sleep standing, so hotels do not have to be luxury and if I had to I am pretty sure I could survive on five dollars a day (though I would miss the wine).

All this comes with one caveat. And, like all of my other shortcomings, I blame this one on my Mother. You see, I still recall being left on the toilet and waiting for extended periods of time while she tended to my 3 older brothers. When she finally would arrive to clean me up, my tiny tush would have a ring around it from the potty that has left me with an indelible case of anal retention. So when it comes to peeing and pooping in public restrooms I am super high maintenance. (The last thing I want to do is pop a squat at work and risk sitting next to the woman in the licensing department who thinks her own shit does not stink.)

This year I was delighted to learn about The "Restroom Access Act." Under the bill, retail establishments that have a toilet facility have to allow their customers to use that facility. Albeit if you want to use their "facility" you must prove that you suffer from a medical condition, which I do not.

Since I cannot qualify, I continue to hone my survival skills and have a list of preferred go-to (to-go?) spots. FYI, Houston's restaurant is always a best restroom because the stall doors reach the floor so that no one could ever identify you based on your shoes.

If you're always on the go with no where to go-go, here are some pointers to finding the perfect public bathroom:

1. Online Outposts: It never ceases to amaze me what you can find on the Internet these days. Websites like the "The Bathroom Diaries" and "MizPee" rank the world's best bathrooms and allows you to find public facilities based on cleanliness, accessibility and other criteria.

2. Express Check-In: For the most meticulous restroom, stop into a hotel lobby and use their facilities. Unless you're a mess, no questions will be asked!

3. Retail Respite: Large retail outlets and departments stores such as Barnes and Nobles, Macy's, and Target all have public restrooms that are spacious and easily accessible.

4. The Pit Stop: Desperate measures call for desperate times. And although they may not be the tidiest or you may be subject to questioning stares, there is always a Starbucks or McDonald's on every second corner.

5. Club It: If you have a gym membership, keep your ID card on hand. It is by far the best spot when you need to shower and clean up or change between meetings, plans or dates.