Blushing for My Boss

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Q: I have a very flirtatious relationship with my boss and cannot stop fantasizing about him. I know that pursuing any sort of relationship is career suicide, but please tell me how I can stop turning red in the face every time I am in a meeting with him?

It sounds like you know that acting in a flirtatious manner with your boss will likely sabotage your career. Is what you're getting from the thrill of his attention worth the risk of your job? The good news is that there is a big difference between fantasizing about someone and actually acting out that fantasy; I suggest you might want to think about the long-term consequences of what you're doing and where it can lead. What does your boss really have to offer you as far as a relationship goes? Are you involved in another relationship and this particular one just makes you feel more special? What's in it for him?

Although difficult, you can change the situation by making the decision that your career comes first and that you will not let anyone derail that. Since what you tell yourself informs your behavior, you can appreciate that your boss finds you attractive but remind yourself, as well, that your priority is work. Find pride in what you create and distraction in your co-workers. If need be, talk to your boss about this situation or ask to be transferred to another department. However, I think that if you don't reinforce his inappropriate behavior, it will stop.

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DISCLAIMER: This format is general in nature and not intended as a personal response to each question nor is it a subtitute for individualized medical or psychological care, diagnosis or treatment.

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