Body Shuts Down After Break Up?

Q:Ever since I broke up with my long term boyfriend, my body has completely shut down sexually. Now that I am dating again, I want to be intimate but cannot seem to get aroused. Is there such thing as Viagra for women or an equivalent prescription treatment for women? If not is there something organic I can take to stimulate arousal?

 

 

 

I'm glad you're dating again.  You suggest that your body has shut down sexually and you cannot seem to get aroused.  From what you describe, the obstacle may be more in your mind than in your body.  Let me explain.

Think of it as cause and effect: what you believe about your sexual-self powerfully impacts your level of desire, arousal and orgasm. If you're afraid of rejection, intimacy or commitment or you feel unattractive or undeserving, the end result will be quite different than if you are confident, feel entitled to sexual pleasure and embrace positive anticipation.

Non-erotic and distracting thoughts keep you from reaching your sexual potential.  It's not a stretch that you may have these negative ideas circulating in your head since your break up.  So try to get in touch with them and consciously tell yourself that they are sabotaging your wish to be intimate again.  Then give yourself permission to replace the interfering thoughts with sexy, positive ones.

I hope you will also practice self-pleasuring with fantasy.  It's been found that the more orgasms you have, the more sexually heightened you feel.  So, although Viagra is sometimes used off label for women and specific medications to enhance women's sexuality are in the pipeline, recognize that the most potent predictor of pleasure is between your ears.  Start by becoming aware of your thoughts and see if that helps.  If it doesn't work for you, you may want to check with a physician to rule out any medical issue.

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DISCLAIMER: This format is general in nature and not intended as a personal response to each question nor is it a subtitute for individualized medical or psychological care, diagnosis or treatment.