Break and Date...

Q: My ex boyfriend I broke up again about a month ago.. We keep getting back together but it always ends up with us deciding not to speak and then when we do things are okay for about a week before we go right back to break-up-ville. What do I do?

I believe Albert Einstein was referring to dating when he said "Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

Breaking up and getting back together recurrently is a behavioral pattern that must be changed or broken. The reason why most "reunions" don't work, can be traced to couples doing so for the wrong reasons (e.g. emotional /physical needs) without having taken the necessary steps to assess and change the dynamics of their relationship before reuniting.

Right now, you really need to determine what keeps driving you and your boyfriend back into each other's arms. Do the two of you have what it takes to make this a successful long term affair? Are you mistakenly just filling some sort of emotional void in the other. such as fear of being alone, rejection or starting all over? Being loved and feeling wanted is a comfort that is hard to give up, especially when it's familiar. But, it can make be detrimental over time if it's with the wrong person.

If you decide to give it a go one last time, please do so with a plan in place. Identify the problems and work towards fixing them as a couple, perhaps with the help of a counselor. Just remember that even under the best circumstances relationships require a tremendous amount of work from all parties.

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