Certified Love Doctor Paul Dobransky

Q: Many refer to you as the Love Doctor. How did you earn that reputation?


It’s not a “reputation.” I’m a board certified M.D. Psychiatrist whose expertise as a theoretician is in the area of human courtship.  That’s not a reputation, but over 15 yrs of formal academic training and over 10000 clinical cases well treated.  I don’t believe “reputations” make one an expert.  As test pilot Chuck Yeager once wrote in his autobiography, “It ain’t braggin’ if you can DO the thing.”


Q: Can you tell us a little bit more the Omega Male Bootcamp you offer to men?


It’s a man-language version of my patent-pending courtship model (which cannot legally be used by others in commerce or client services or products, except through referral directly to my company.)

There are three scientifically supported stages of courtship, like a three act play that has a naturalness, pacing, and progress which feels natural to women and men, and requires sexual attraction, friendship, and the traits of maturity of character that only those in the field of psychodynamics and psychoanalysis are able to thoroughly teach and apply to clients in a systematic way.

Each has steps, actions, observations, strategies, tactics and “vetting” of the other gender, until there is a solid degree of alignment, fit, and complementary teamwork as a couple.


Q: Can you give our male readers one tip from your course “The Masculinity Code ” to help them get their game on?

The most important and first step for men in all successful courtships, which all begin with sexual attraction, not “befriending” or “chasing” or “impressing” the woman, is to find and display something about yourself that is a burning source of curiosity for the woman. E.g. Be MYSTERIOUS, giving the woman burning questions about you that beg to be answered, and which only YOU have the answer to.


Q: What’s the biggest mistake single men make when it comes to meeting women?


They assume woman judge them the way they judge themselves and each other. Men need to understand that while men and women are quite equal in career potential, the capacity to love and form friendships, to raise children and make one’s way in the world, they are decidedly different in INSTINCTS, in reflexes common only to their own gender.

Women don’t think like men. They think like women. Learn the details of what that is. Begin with as many popular women’s magazines, tv shows, and books as you can handle.

And I would throw onto that that the number two biggest mistake is that men don’t know when women like them. It’s subtle. Women have been shown to be four times better than men at picking up on subtle social cues.



Q: For many, low self esteem makes it hard to meet women. How can they gain confidence to help them overcome their self-esteem issues?


I explain this in detail in my patent-pending system called MindOS. I can’t describe the whole system here, and that isn’t allowed legally anyway, but suffice it to say the cure is COURAGE. That means that the more things men face that they fear, OTHER than women, the more they can transfer the confidence gained into the realm of socializing.  In my model I view there being only “two types of self-esteem” in fact. Confidence is only one type.


Q: Please list three first date mistakes every guy should avoid.


Do not get onto SERIOUS topics like exes, marriage, children, finances, religion and politics. Keep it FUN and flirtatious, and even if the woman complains about that or steers convo into that, go back to fun and the flirty. It will draw her into curiosity about what makes you tick that can start to be revealed in the next date.

DO treat, but do NOT do an expensive activity. It sets the wrong expectations and you’ll possibly feel “used” when it’s both of your voluntary choice to explore whether you both even want a second date.  No resentments when there are no overinvestments.
Don’t reveal verbal descriptions of what you like about her, or even whether you like her. Use your eyes, your body language to communicate. Early dating and sexual attraction are all about body language, not words.



Q: How you keep and decorate a home says a lot about a man. What are some bachelor pad must haves that will make a good first, second or overnight impression?


Make sure it’s CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN. Get a Maid Service, even if it’s the only time you use it. Secondly, place items from your life and travels that tell a story about you.



Q: How can guys turn a female friend into a long-term love?


They can’t. All successful courtships begin with one or the other or both people having a strong SEXUAL ATTRACTION from day one.  The only exception is having months or years apart where true independent personal growth has happened, like going off to college, out of state for a job, or a tour of duty at war.

Anything else means that someone has sold out, and settled for what they aren’t fully interested in or invested in, which is a recipe for divorce.  I didn’t say people don’t routinely have a friendship first, but it either means they have always had an unspoken but true mutual sexual interest, not one way, or that we haven’t seen years together play out yet to conflict and likely breakup.


Q: Do you think women and men can/should be friends after a break up? Why or why not?


I think it’s a judgment call, case by case. In the end, our time is a resource. You can call yourself whatever you want, but when it comes to spending time together, that expenditure depends on whether you still bring value to one’s life. Which is a very individual set of skills and abilities at friendship quality.


Q: Best but least expected places to meet single women?


Home Depot.  Whole Foods. The subway or train.


Q: Many men experience the fear and flight syndrome as soon as a relationship starts to go well. Is it normal to panic and if so, how can they control it?


Hmm, I disagree with the whole spirit of the question. There’s an assumption that relationships are good by virtue of being a relationship, so normalcy is entirely in question until one knows the whole developmental history of the man. Men aren’t specimens or robots.

If a guy has had a conflicted relationship with his mother, or an absent father, he may feel overwhelmed by commitment to any woman. And so for him, avoiding deep commitment might work for and be comfortable for him. Many men have serial brief relationships and feel quite fulfilled in their single lives. Therefore, one would not want to control an intuition telling him that he is not ready for it, and has either work to do on his past, or acceptance of a single life as satisfying.

Other men might have great history with their mothers and fathers, but the woman in question is intuitively felt as a good match for fun and carefree dating, but not at all a match to him, a healthy partner potential in a long term relationship, has growing to do, or is just from a walk of life in which the seriousness and sacrifice of monogamy do not add up for him to a convincing argument that coupledom with her will benefit his life. Again, one would definitely not want to control an intuition that is accurately telling him he is about to get locked into something not healthy for him.

Both men and women need to learn that at all times, even after marriage, a couple does not “owe” or “own” each other as one owns possessions or owes a creditor. Relationships are voluntary, and chosen because they offer a HIGHER quality of living than remaining single. If they don’t, the one at hand needs to be avoided.