Q: Several weeks ago I met a man through an online dating site. We have a great time together but something about him doesn’t feel right and I cannot put my finger on it. I know that many people who are married or otherwise committed use the Internet to cheat on their partners. How can I determine if this man is on the up and up?

Kudos to you for trusting your gut!  Don’t ever ignore your internal alarm system, as chances are good that your conscience is telling you something that your outer senses may be overlooking.  

You can try to have an honest conversation with your guy to address your suspicions, but unfortunately if you’re dealing with a cheater he’s probably a good liar too.   So before things get too serious, keep an eye out for the following clues as they will help you figure out if this guy is double dipping:

1.   If he insists on meeting you at odd hours and in dark, remote or secluded places.
2.   If he puts off introducing you to anyone in his life.
3.   If he avoids taking telephone calls when the two of you are together.
4.   If he has programmed you into his phone under a business name or some other inconspicuous name.
5.   If he does not give you his home telephone number.
6.   If he has to leave unexpectedly or cancels plans last minute on a regular basis.
7.   If he leaves the room whenever his phone rings.
8.   If he’s always busy on weekends and holidays.
9.   If he refuses to get intimate. (You’d be surprised how many people cheat emotionally but are too afraid to cross the line when it comes to sex!)


Even in the best scenario, if you discover he’s legitimately single, you’ll still have to figure out why he’s triggering such feelings of distrust. Instead of wasting time playing detective, I encourage you to start figuring out if he is worth the time and emotional investment.

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written by LauraG, August 28, 2011

Wow, these are some really good ideas to find out if people are on the up and up when it comes to dating. I also applaud you for trusting that voice inside that is telling you that something might be up with this guy. If you are not sure, then it is best to find out what is really going on sooner rather than later. I hope though that he is not married because that problem probably cannot be dealt with.

 

 

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