Desi Dating for Divorcees

Q: I am a 39 year old woman of Indian descent. I have been divorced for 5+ years and am having a really hard time meeting men. I am fairly traditional and need help!

I empathize with you and hope you can find comfort in knowing that a letter of your kind is not the first one to reach my mailbox.  The 'D' word in Desi culture once automatically disqualified a South Asian woman from dating, but current statistics show that is no longer the case. In the United States, 4.2% of Asian Indian Americans are divorced while an additional 1.3% report being separated. Though these figures are low by American standards, they reveal a significant trend when compared to the 1.1% divorce rate in India.

The good news for you is that Indian women continue to go through a major cultural shift which is finds them more educated, extroverted and independent. The age old stigmas that divorced women within the community once faced are being broken and more divorcees are finding a happier love the second time around.

Matchmakers are no longer the only avenue to dating, as the field has been supplemented with niche Internet dating sites, like Shaadi.com, which make it easy to connect with like-minded individuals who share the same cultural, ethnic and religious values. Social clubs and events too are springing up around the country to bring divorced individuals within the South Asian community together for friendship and love. As you ease your way back into the dating pool, I strongly encourage you to seek out these resources and use them to your advantage.

But before you do, it is important that you learn how to reconcile traditional messages from the past with those of today. Figuring out what feels right to YOU will help you gain confidence, form new friendships and ultimately find the love that you want and deserve.

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