Emily

Q: What inspired you to write a book about modern day fairytales that happen via social media?
After joining Facebook in the summer of 2008, I started thinking about the cultural impact of social media. And, in doing so, it occurred to me  that there had to be some amazing stories evolving from these hundreds of millions  of connections. So, I scoured my local bookstores and found that there had been many books written on Facebook etiquette,  how to use the site, and even the history of its incarnation, but there was nothing  on the effect that social media was having on our society. I decided to do some research, that research turned up some amazing “fairytales,”  and thus the concept for Facebook Fairytales was born.


Q: What was the most touching human interest story that you came across as you were conducting research and outreach for the book?
One of the most powerful stories, in my opinion, introduces Beth, a  young mother from Scarsdale, who received a kidney from a stranger named Cathy—another  young mother from Tallahassee, FL—thanks to a mutual friend’s status  update, which read: I have a friend named Beth who needs a kidney donor.  If you have type-O blood, please visit her website. Beth was dying. She’d  exhausted a dozen possible donors who matched her blood type but who still weren’t  compatible and her prospects were growing dim. Cathy was so touched by Beth’s  plight and, further, felt that the fact that they both had daughters named Olivia  meant it was kismet. She saved Beth’s life for no other reason than sheer  generosity of heart and soul.

Q: Any inspiring and amazing love stories?
Yes! I did find a lot of wonderful romances, but only two made it into the book. And I picked those two because they were more than simple love stories. They had layers, texture. The individuals had endured significant obstacles to be together. I can’t give away all the stories, otherwise no one will buy the book—though I will say that “Summer Love” and “Status Update”--the two loves stories in the book--are, indeed, very special and unique.

Q: Can you tell us some of the more unthinkable ways in which people have leveraged Facebook to their advantage?
To adopt a baby, to launch a business, to find biological parents, to relay messages to loved ones during terrorist attacks, to win a presidential election, and—best of all--to save a teenager’s life.

Q:  Did you uncover any FB nightmares along the way?
Not really. There were a few people who said they’d experienced a Facebook nightmare, but I never actually entertained any of them. This project was focused on the positive side of social media, which—in my opinion—far outweighs anything negative you hear about.

Q: Why did you choose Facebook and not Twitter as your source of inspiration?
Facebook lends itself to amazing stories far more than Twitter does. Twitter is great for throwing out sound bites and networking, but—in looking into it—I discovered that the connections on Facebook are much more profound. You’re seeing your friends’ full profiles, family photos, likes and dislikes. It’s much more human and, for that reason, I think these modern-day fairytales are far more likely to develop.

Q:  Facebook has been said to have destroyed many relationships and marriages. How can a person politely react when a married ex-boyfriend or girlfriend crosses the line between friendship and flirting?
I think it’s absolutely silly when people suggest that their relationship/marriage was destroyed because of Facebook. If your relationship is that fragile, it’s my best guess that it would have been destroyed regardless. Perhaps Facebook was the catalyst, but if it hadn’t been Facebook, it would’ve been something else. If people want to cheat, they’ll find a way, regardless of the mediums available. If one of my married ex-boyfriends crossed the line via Facebook, I’d write him a short, private note saying that I’m not interested in anything beyond friendship and that if he is, perhaps we shouldn’t be friends at all. If he persisted, I’d delete him as a friend! There’s nothing polite about flirting when you’re married—unless it’s obvious to both parties that it’s completely innocent--so I don’t think a polite response is in order.

Q: Name one thing people should avoid doing on Facebook in order to keep new friendships and/or budding relationships intact when using social media sites?
Shamelessly promote themselves or push their product on people. Let’s face it, we’ve all got something we think the world should know about or buy (in my case, my book). But you have to walk a fine line between sharing your success and badgering people with it. In other words, it’s better to say, “Check out this article on my book” than “Buy my book now!”

Q: Any other words of wisdom?
Learn how to use your privacy settings, especially if you accept friend requests from strangers. Social media has received a lot of negative press, especially as of late, in regards to privacy concerns. As I often say, if you’re going to post topless photos of yourself and leave your privacy settings open to the public, then you shouldn’t be surprised when creepy men contact you. You have to take matters into your own hands. I’m a mother and an author and some of my Facebook “friends” aren’t real friends—people I know personally and trust. So I’ve divided my friends into groups and only certain people can see—for example--photos of my son and my family.