Erin

Q:  As a comedian in LA you get to laugh at love all the time. Why do you think humor is such an important part of the dating process?

It's an important part of the life process.  Life in general (and dating for sure) is full of so much awkwardness, horror, and despair – if you can't find a way to laugh at it all, you're going to be miserable.  In dating in particular it's a way to lighten what could be a high pressure situation.  If you're me, anyway.  But then I break out in hives prior to dates.  I hear some people actually think dating is fun.

Q: In your experience do men prefer funny girls?

I think it depends on the man.  To make a terrible generalization (which are my favorite kind), intelligent, confident men seem to like the funny ladies.  Insecure, conversationally challenged dudes are either intimidated or just miss all the jokes.  There's a difference, though, between being funny and being on all the time.  No one wants to play audience to a stand up routine on a date.  Unless you're my ex boyfriend.  He was so quiet I worked out an entire one woman show over dinner at Outback.   


Q:  So many people have a hard time crafting their online dating profiles. Any tips on how they can incorporate humor into their story or user name?

I got bored one night and wrote a joke profile for Craigslist.  I love reading Craigslist personals because they're always these incredibly detailed descriptions of what the person is looking for and then you look at the picture they've included and it's like, yeah, have fun attaining those standards with that face.  Or people's descriptions of themselves are so perfect you think, then why are you on Craigslist?  I was curious to see what kind of responses I'd get if I just let it all hang out.  So I described myself accurately: “Broke, mildly depressed, and out of shape with a talent for self-deprecation.  Seeking someone average looking with a sense of humor to eat peppermint ice-cream with and maybe get to second base.”  It went on, but that was the gist.  I figured I'd get a few auto-responses but I actually got maybe 60 e-mails from guys who were just psyched someone had a sense of humor and wasn't just listing general, positive attributes.  And then I kind of felt guilty because I had no intention of contacting any of them.  I did get an article out of it, you can read it here.  That really didn't answer the question.  Okay, I think being refreshingly honest and candid is funny and usually more appealing than trying to make yourself look flawless.  Laughing at your flaws is way hotter than not having any. 

Q: You are a feature writer for Onlinedatingsites.com. Can you tell us more about the site?

I started writing for them about 6 months ago.  The site was launched by someone who had been married and in love for years, then divorced and found themselves in the modern singles world of online dating.  They eventually met someone new online.  The site is a mix of reviews of online dating sites and dating articles.  I really hand it to the administrators for keeping the content interesting and funny.  I've read so many dating articles that are either generic (terrible) advice or just a laundry list of dating complaints, all of which sound like they were written by the same person.  This site has a sense of humor I think.  As does SingleEdition.com, of course.  :) 

Q:  Can you list three of the best, most obscure dating blogs or sites?

I've written guest posts for Flirtatious-T and Dating Thoughts.  I dig them because they like me, which is my favorite quality about anybody.  And then there's always my apartment.  An obscure dating site because action so rarely takes place there.


Q:  Do you like East Coast or West Coast men better and why?

I guess since I'm from Boston I'll always have sort of an unfair preference for East Coast dudes.  But then, I'm comparing them to LA guys who hardly represent the whole West Coast.  I like a guy who reads books that aren't about screenwriting, doesn't stick gunk in his hair, and rocks a grey t-shirt with pit stains that smell like Old Spice on the subway.  I associate those things with the East Coast but I'm sure there's the occasional Pacific Zone guy who qualifies.  Also, I really need to up my standards.

Q:  What are some of the pitfalls and benefits of being a single woman in LA?

I would imagine it's the same pitfalls as anywhere else: if you're single and don't want to be then you're lonely no matter what your location.  I like being single.  I pretty much have a huge crush on myself so it's hard for guys to measure up.  The benefit to being single in LA is people don't pair off as quickly.  It's not the terrifying baby factory that the midwest can be.  It's a hard town for romance because people are so single minded about their careers.  That can happen anywhere but in LA it often comes attached to a need to be famous, recognized, or powerful. Those are not fun qualities in a mate so sometimes, despite the overwhelming number of beautiful, talented people, the pickings seem slim.

Q: We understand you like “long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” What should guys know about the ones that turn you off?

Ha, well, that's actually a quote from Bull Durham, lest any Costner fans out there think I'm stealing.  A bad kiss is usually when the other person just isn't tuned in.  If you're paying attention you can generally tell if someone is into what you're doing.  I was seagull pecked by a guy once and went home with a bruised chin.  He'd actually recoil his head before plunging back in each time.  I never did find out how that translated in bed.

Q: In what ways has performing improv helped you?

In terms of dating it hasn't.  I play a lot of socially awkward, inappropriate, and neurotic characters and quite frankly they're starting to bleed into my life. 

Q: Any other tips to share with our readers?

Sure, here are the random tips I've picked up over the years.  Ladies: If a guy tells you unsolicited that he's a really nice guy he is almost certainly the opposite.  Guys: Do pick up the check the first couple of times.  It sets you apart from the other 24 yr-old schmucks who text at 2 AM and make you buy your own PBR.  Ladies: If a guy is grossed out by body hair he either has control issues or prefers 12 yr-olds – stay away.  Guys: Instead of complaining that all girls like bad guys, notice you only pursue girls to whom this statement applies; redirect your attention.  And don't do drugs.  Not on first dates, anyway.  

Erin Whitehead is a writer and comedian in Los Angeles.  She writes for onlinedatingsites.net, an online dating site with reviews and articles.  Follow her on Twitter @girlwithatail.