Failure to Click

Q: I'm newly divorced and have been out of the dating scene for more than 12 years.  My question is this:  If a mystery man emails or "clicks" me and I'm less than interested, should I respond back?  If I blow him off, is that rude?  Or is it worse to respond when in fact I'm not intending on meeting the person?  If I ought to respond, what should I say?  It's not that I've exactly been inundated with responses or anything, which also prompts this question:  should I plan to meet everyone since 'you never know'?  My problem is that I am having to work too many hours to make ends meet and so am chronically short on time.  I therefore feel I must make the most of what little discretionary time I have.  Any thoughts on these matters would be greatly appreciated! 

Welcome to the world of online dating, where there is no official code of conduct. It would be wonderful if everyone proceeded with the same level of consideration as you, but unfortunately that is not the case. Unlike the real world, the nature of virtual reality is anonymous, highly concentrated and impersonal, which makes it difficult and not always smart to practice good manners.  Hence, it is perfectly acceptable and probably will be more manageable for you to reply only to men who are of interest to you. Responding to every single email, poke or flirt, can give off the wrong impression, be overwhelming and leave you with less time to focus on the prospects you like.

All this being said, you should be selective in whom you choose to date, but do try to approach each individual with an open mind. We are all guilty of making hasty generalizations about a person based on their picture, weight or occupation, but it’s important not to rule a person out because one or two things about them do not “look good on screen.”  So give yourself the chance to be pleasantly surprised if and when you do meet them in person.

Comments (1)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

...
written by AlizaG, February 04, 2010

As a rule, if someone has taken the time to write to me I respond. It may just be a one line response saying I'm dating someone, but I do respond. But if the e-mail I receive looks in any way like a generic e-mail blast - that is, it could be sent to any woman and doesn't have anything relating to yor profile in it, I don't respond.
If they've made an effort, I make an effort, if they don't, then I don't. Easy.

• 
• +0
• 
•