Getting Over the Guilt

Q: I am a single woman and though I am hardly promiscuous, I often feel bad after having sex with someone I am seeing if we are not fully committed. How can I get past the guilt?

Although you don't consider yourself promiscuous, you are obviously feeling conflicted. Interestingly, your question is not about stopping this behavior but getting past the guilt when you do it. So, have you considered why you have the need to be sexual with someone with whom you are not committed if doing so makes you feel badly? There must be some gain for you. Is the guilt you experience in this type of situation easier to deal with than the fear that comes with commitment? My suggestion is to think about what motivates you to have sex early in a relationship and only engage in it when YOU are comfortable doing so, not because you feel outside pressure. If the guy seems like a keeper, talk to him about your concerns. Enlisting him as an emotional partner, as well as a sexual partner, can foster the connection between the two of you and provide further insight into your feelings and his.

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