Having Sex for Love

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Q: I often sleep with men very early on in the relationship in the hopes that it will make them fall in love with me. I am trying to break this pattern and was hoping you could tell me when is it too soon to have sex?

Quite frankly, it is too soon to have sex with someone whenever your motivation is to make that person fall in love with you. Sex, in its most authentic and gifted form is not a manipulative agent but a deep and positive expression of loving, warm feelings that evolves from a connected, trusting relationship. Breaking this pattern involves hard work that can be gratifying in the long run. You might begin by asking yourself why you think you are not good enough or deserving enough for a healthy relationship.

DISCLAIMER: This format is general in nature and not intended as a personal response to each question nor is it a subtitute for individualized medical or psychological care, diagnosis or treatment.

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