Holding On For the Wrong Reasons

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Q: My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years before we had a huge blowout involving several people. We agreed on a break. I took advantage of an opportunity and moved to FL from TN. It's now been a little over a year and we are still not officially back together. He hasn't told anyone that we broke up and when I'm in town I stay with him. Nothing has really changed and we talk of rebuilding our friendship so we can proceed with a relationship. I personally don't like being single and feel like I'm sitting around waiting on something that will never happen. He has my heart right now but I'm 34 and feel like I'm wasting valuable time that i could be spending with someone who may one day be my husband. Am I just being impatient or should I have moved on by now?

The fact that you moved away to an entirely different state says it all. Since no progress has been made since your break up and the fact that you do not like being single, I have to believe you are holding onto this relationship as a means of security. The truth is you have already moved on physically, but your fear of being alone is keeping you from saying so in words.

To get to the next stage in your life, you and your ex-boyfriend both need to come clean to yourselves and each other. And finally, as with any other resolution, making your decision public by sharing it with friends and family is the only way to make it definite and gain the support you need to move on successfully.

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