How Much Healing Time Do I Give My New Beau?

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Q: I started dating a guy who I really like, a lot. We have so much fun together. The problem is, his ex-girlfriend died tragically about a year ago and he can't seem to move on and be 100% in the present with me. I am wondering how long, if at all, I should wait for him, or if I'm just wasting my time and should just enjoy being single until someone with less baggage comes along.

Given the sadness from a year ago, it's wonderful the two of you met and are having fun together. It doesn't seem like you're wasting your time with this guy since you really like him. I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with him regarding your feelings and your desire that he be more present in the relationship. If he feels that he wants to move forward, as well, but is having difficulty doing so, psychotherapy can be very beneficial. Set a date aside several months away when you and he can reevaluate how things are going, but in the meantime, be sure you are communicating with each other every day and focusing on what you enjoy doing together; you might decide to stay with this guy for a while longer while you both work on things. It's not easy to measure the impact of emotional baggage on a future relationship-besides, the single life is just a choice away.

DISCLAIMER: This format is general in nature and not intended as a personal response to each question nor is it a subtitute for individualized medical or psychological care, diagnosis or treatment.

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