Insights from Mom Michele

Q: Where are you from?
I'm the mom to four young adult children and live near Lake Erie in Michigan. We've lived here on the old family farm for over twenty years and love being out in the country and near the water.

Q: In your work as a writer you focus on single motherhood. Can you tell us how you got started on this topic?
My two closest friends became single moms over sixteen years ago and their challenges (and how they handled them) made me realize how difficult single parenting can be. I've watched these women handle the toughest situations with such grace that I count it a privilege to tell their stories to other single moms.

Q: How has being a mother of four affected your career?
It's been a busy twenty-plus years! I began freelancing when my oldest daughter was only about a year old. But back then, I only allotted a certain amount of time daily to writing and reviewing...and sometimes even this slim time alottment was tough to squeeze in as I had my four children within six years' time. I am just naturally an organizer, so I consistently worked in time for freelancing and as my children grew, so did my investment in my work.

Q: One of your titles addresses “Successful Single Moms.” As a subject matter expert, do you have any tips for single moms who are looking to re-enter the workplace?
Become very familiar with the specific area of the market you want to re-enter. Check out all the developments, updates, new requirements, as well as what the job "looks like" today in comparison to what it looked like when you were in it. Some of the best information will come from local sources, so try to locate real people doing the job you want to get and ask them for hints, tips, and referrals...networking in today's economy means much more than it used to.

Q: There is very little on the subject of parenting as a single father. Any tips or advice for all the men out there who are going it alone?
I would recommend that dads find local agencies that connect with other single dads and meet with them. Even if a certain city doesn't have any parenting groups available, then there are certainly online connection groups for men to plug into, read parenting articles and find resources for growing right along with their kids.

Q: Religion and community seem to have a strong influence on you and your work. Why do you think these are important components of single living?
Community is absolutely essential for not only single moms, but for all women (for all people). Often, women come in frazzled to one of our meetings, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and truly believing their situation is unique. It doesn't take long for them to realize that we're all struggling with something and that underneath, we're all the same. Unless women take that step and get connected with other moms, their personal burden truly is theirs alone...only by being honest about what's happening and how we're dealing with life can we get the assistance and support available to us. As for religion, I believe every individual has a belief system which forms how they view and conduct life. For me, my faith is a make or break life choice...I couldn't (and wouldn't want to) live my days without it.

Q: When you look at marketers, many tend to neglect the Solo Parent market. Why do think this is the case and what message would you deliver to the brains behind the brands if you could?
Given that every other adult you meet is single, it only makes sense to target these number strong buyers. However, marketers perceive that many of these "singles" don't have the disposable income that many couples have, thus they are frequently neglected. Brand sellers would do well to target single moms with cost effective products that help these women stretch their hard-earned dollars farther...and would be happily rewarded by long-term buying loyalty.

Q: Given all of your pursuits, what is the biggest lesson you have learned that could help the growing population of single parents?
Don't attempt to go it alone. Make use of every person who's offered their help...if you have family, trusted friends, neighbors, or a church community and they desire to lighten your load, let them. Whenever you can get the support needed, say yes. Working toward independence can be a good thing, but its flip side, that of stubbornly refusing help because you feel you have to do it yourself...is detrimental to you and your kids. It does take a community of people to raise a child, sometimes though, the single mom is the last one to accept this fact.

Q: What resources are available in your area to help single parents?
County agencies, support groups, church-affiliated programs are available city/statewide throughout the U.S.

To Read Michele's Column, Click Here.