Inspirational Notes from a Dallas Doctor

Q: Where are you from?
Dallas, Texas

Q: What’s it like being a Dad with toddler(s)?
It’s very challenging but rewarding. I love every minute of it. My son is so curious about the world and it’s quite fascinating seeing how his young mind and motor skills develop so quickly before your eyes. He is now 20 months old and I love taking him to the park and the playgrounds. I recently got a child trailer for my bike, and now I often take him biking.

Q: What have been some of the most difficult challenges of solo parenting and how do you deal with them?
Being a single dad is difficult.  Making it even more difficult is that I am in residency.  It requires very long hours of work, taking overnight calls, and lots of reading and studying (doesn’t end after graduation from medical school).  There are days that I get to the hospital by 5 AM before my son wakes up and get home by 9 PM after my son is already asleep. I leave pictures of myself around the house in the hopes that my son won’t forget what his daddy looks like. Someday he’ll appreciate all the hard work and sacrifices I have made for our future together. Right now I have been receiving much help from my parents.  I don’t know what I would do without their support.

Q: As a full time medical resident what are 3 things you do to maintain a healthy balance in your life?
I try to eat healthier, although it is very difficult to do since I have very little time to eat anyway and when I do have time, it will probably be very late at night after the cafeteria has closed, thus forcing me to rely on the McDonald’s inside the hospital.  I try to have a regular exercise routine, such as biking with my son. Just chasing him around the house is also a good workout. Lastly, I try to keep a positive attitude and find humor in my daily life. In fact, I am trying to put into practice what my own research project has shown—that humor can make us hopeful. My son is still at that age where everything makes him laugh, whether it be playing hide-and-seek, or making fart sounds with my hands. His laughter is contagious.

Q: How has being a single Dad shaped you as an individual?
Being a single dad has given me a new meaning in my life. The birth of my son is truly a gift and a miracle from God.  After all, his mother became pregnant with him seven years after she had her surgery to completely remove both of her ovaries due to extensive bilateral ovarian tumors. Being in the medical field myself, I witnessed firsthand that medical miracles do happen.  I believe that things happen for a reason, and I hope that reason is for me to do all I can to make this world a better place for my son and to provide all the love and happiness that he deserves.

Q: What advice would you give to suddenly singles that are getting back into the dating game?
I would say not to rush into anything.  I believe that you will find love when you least expect it.

Q: What are some of your rules that Single Dads should live by?

Your children should come first and foremost.  I believe that if you take good care of your children, someday they will return the favor and take care of you when you are old and frail. I will definitely remind my son the millions of time I had to change his diaper to at least help me change mine when I’m an old senile man, or at least to put me in a nicer nursing home. Another rule that single dads should live by is to cherish the time you have with your children. Kids grow up so fast.  Develop the father and son bond or father and daughter bond early and maintain that bond, I think especially before the awkward teenage years set in and it's no longer cool to hang out with your own father.

Q: What is the single most important lesson you learned by being a single Dad?
I never thought I'd be able to take care of anyone. Before my son, the only living entity that I have successfully cared for was a small plant that only required watering once a month. I had  two baby pet turtles during my third year of medical school that survived for only one month. I was on call and didn't realize I had set their container too close to a window and their water dried up. I had my son during my fourth year of medical school, so the death of those turtles were still fresh on my mind. My son is a healthy and energetic toddler, and if I can do it with my hectic schedule I think anyone can.

Q: What do you love about being single?
I have always been an independent person and did not mind doing activities like traveling alone. Driving alone long distance was, in a way, cathartic for me. Now I have my son and he'll be my travel buddy. Maybe we can take a fishing trip together when he gets a little bit older. Being single has allowed me the opportunity for self-reflection and self-discovery, and hopefully it will make me into an even better person.

Q: Any other words of wisdom?
Live without any regrets or doubts. Put the what-ifs to rest.  I don't  regret bringing my son into this world. What I thought initially was the worst thing possible that could have happened to me has turned out to be the best thing ever.