Is There a Bitter Side of 35

Attention: open in a new window.

Q: I’m a 37 year old guy and have never been married. Why do I still encounter women who automatically write off guys that are my age and have never been married as if we have something wrong with us?

I am so glad you brought up this question because many of our male readers grapple with the same issue despite evidence 1) fewer people are getting married, 2) they are doing so at a later age and 3) many are parenting children without taking vows.

The first thing you must realize is that you are not alone. The average age of American men marrying for the first time is now 28, which is up five full years since 1997. But in some states, like Texas, those numbers are higher still: 33.5 years for men and 31.1 for women in 2007, according to the Texas Department of Public Health.

Why the delay? American singles are increasingly embracing their independence and putting marriage plans on pause until they seek higher levels of education and professional status. Research also indicates that more men are holding out for the ideal “till death do us part” relationship. In fact, according to a survey by Zoosk, 66 percent of men responded that they have not yet met their soul mate and are waiting for the right one to come along. And whether we women agree with this one or not, social psychologists Roy Baumeister and Kathleen Vohs make a very interesting albeit controversial claim that the rise in men's “market value” is directly proportional to the resources they accrue with age i.e. financial security, emotional maturity etc.

There may have been a time when women were concerned that a never-married single man in mid-life may have commitment issues, but you should know that age is becoming less of a barometer. If we sum up the research, how you are measured by the women you are meeting can depends on (a) where you live, (2) how you live and (3) how evolved you are as an individual.. Do keep in mind that as a result of these societal shifts the bar has been elevated, and even though a man’s single status may still come into question times they are a changing and women increasingly are not likely factoring out men at the prime age of 37 years old.

Ultimately the important thing to remember is that the right relationship comes at a different time for everyone regardless of age, which thankfully is what more people are realizing and appreciating.

Set as favorite

Bookmark

Email this

Comments (1) Add Comment

Subscribe to this comment's feed

Bitter side of 35
written by Donna, November 24, 2009

Just read your question and I have been getting the exact same thing. I am a single, 36 year old gal and find that when I meet new guys they seem turned off by the fact that I've never been married. It's almost like I'm damaged goods and there must be something wrong with me because I'm 36.

So I don't think it's just women discriminating me who have never been married, just a general discrimination towards anyone over 35 that hasn't been married. And it's a shame!

Write comment

You must be logged in to post a comment. Please register if you do not have an account yet.

Not A Member?

Members: Login

Follow Us!

	Fan us on Facebook
	Follow us on Twitter
	Subscribe via RSS

Is There a Bitter Side of 35

Not A Member?

Follow Us!

Search Locally

Feature Articles

Expert Advice

Discounts for Singles

Just for One Products & Gifts

About us