New Girlfriend for the Kids

Q: After being separated for nearly 6 months I met a wonderful woman. Now that we have been dating for 5 weeks, I am ready to introduce her to my kids, who are very excited to meet her. My ex-wife is putting up a fuss, and I am wondering if she is just being bitter or if her argument has merit?

It seems as though you are begging the question, given your operative choice of words "recently separated" and "kids." After a fresh split, my concern is that you may be plunging head-first into a serious relationship rather than taking essential time to heal yourself, mourn a failed marriage and allow your children to adjust to the changed circumstances.

You asked, so my thoughts are that you may want to further explore the relationship with your new paramour, particularly whether this is indeed a serious long term relationship where all parties would truly be ready to meet given the potential ramifications of it not working out. You need come to terms with identifying your motivations before asking your kids to jump into thewater with you.

Young or old, children have a keen sense of picking up on adult signals and will set aside their own pain, grief and worry if they think they are protecting a parent. They are just kids after all, no matter what they say or how maturely they respond, so please don't expect them to adapt or recover in adult-time.

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