On Being Friends

Q:Having dated a man on and off for close to three years, I realize that we are better suited as friends. Without sounding trite, is it true that men and women can never be friends?

When dealing with post relationship pain, many people take the "all or nothing" approach on whether friendship is an option. While this is a natural self-preservation technique, it always saddens me because it is often achieved by replacing powerful feelings of love with equally strong yet negative emotions.

I am certain that with a lot of thought patterning, friendship between former lovers is possible. In fact, now that my former boyfriend is one of my dearest friends, I am proof positive. What I have learned is that rather than moving to a place of resentment, hate, jealousy or anger (from either former partner), which most couples do, both people must make a necessary shift that's resides within the positive.

Finding the place where friendship lies must therefore be a conscious choice and can only come about when two people's ability to embrace love in all its forms outweighs any other emotion.

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