Perfectly Perplexed After A Sudden Change In Feelings

Q: I am dealing with a broken engagement...After 5 years in a relationship, my man proposed. But, as soon as we started the wedding planning he started acting strangely. I thought this was normal wedding jitters, but then he announced he'd been "having doubts," and mentioned my "bad temper." I'm no sweetie, but I'm also not a bridezilla, and truly thought this was him trying to find an "out." We called it off, but I am hurt yet wondering, how could his feelings have changed so abruptly? I'm sad (and strangely, somewhat relieved) while fixating on figuring out what I did wrong.

I am sorry to hear that you are hurting. First and foremost it would be a grave mistake for you to completely blame or doubt yourself. Based on your note, this was largely a change in heart from your ex-fiance . How you deal with his decision is all within your power. You can spend time and energy trying to assess what is going on in his head, but the only answers can come from him directly. And for whatever reasons, whether they are emotional or psychological, it does not sound like he is prepared to talk let alone deal with his own inner conflict.

To be successful in a relationship both parties must be prepared to deal with the good, bad and ugly without running away. By focusing on yourself rather than figuring your ex-fiance out, you can turn this into a positive outcome. A good starting point would be to take a closer look at the underlying symptoms that cause you to have a bad temper. Those triggers can be corrected with stress reducing exercises, creative activities or through social channels. In the end, the more we learn, the more we grow and the more irresistibly perfect you will become to the next man who comes along.

Sincerely,

Sherri

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this comment's feed