Pre-Performance Prepping

Q: The man I am dating often heads to the bathroom right before we get intimate. It’s one thing if he was in there for a few minutes but sometimes he spends close to a half hour prepping. Is it me or is there something he is not telling me about his sexuality?

I don't know what the man you are dating is doing or not doing in the bathroom prior to sex. But the very fact that you are questioning his 'prepping and sexuality' already puts the relationship into a negative frame, impacting trust and emotional closeness.

If you wish to strengthen the relationship, you need to lessen your doubts about him. It will be important for you to find a gentle, non-critical way to discuss your concerns about his pre-sexual bathroom routine and find out his truth (have this discussion outside the bedroom when you are relaxed). Listen closely and empathetically to what he says. Perhaps you can also suggest that the two of you change things up by showering together, drying each other off, going to the bedroom at the same time and giving/receiving massages as part of foreplay. Initiating this discussion and change in behavior will provide you with more information...and hopefully more connection.

DISCLAIMER: This format is general in nature and not intended as a personal response to each question nor is it a subtitute for individualized medical or psychological care, diagnosis or treatment.

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