Privacy Matters When it Comes to Status

Q: Isn't one's marital status a private matter? It bothers me when people I barely know ask me if I'm married. But worse is the follow-up question - have you ever been married? How do I brush off these questions?

Society is just beginning to recognize and appreciate "single" as a lifestyle category and while well-meaning (and some not so well-meaning) people should be sensitive to relationship matters, they often overstep their boundaries without realizing that their comments may be inappropriate. The better informed you are, the more apt you will be to dismiss the social slurs and prejudices that many of today's singles face. To get started, you may want to pick up the book, "Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stimgatized and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After." In it, author Bella DePaulo coins the term "singlism" (discrimination against singles) and helps debunk some of the myths of singlehood with clever, witty and substantive arguments.

Knowing how to respond of course depends on the situation. Clearly, you are more likely to push back more aggressively with a nagging parent than a distant relative or cantankerous boss. And while there is always the honest approach, a little humor can go a long way in putting someone back in their place. For some witty one line responses please check out our piece "What to do about Well Meaning Relatives."

Sherri

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