Robert Mack

Q: According to your bio you “experienced an inner transformation that changed the course of his life.” How did that shape the way you view things?

The inner transformation that I experienced taught me to become a lot more present. For me, presence means spending less time in my head and more time just being mindful of my thoughts - without judging them. I was unhappy prior to my transformation, I realized, because I was telling myself (and other people, too) an unhappy story about myself and about my life. With practice, I became much more aware of my thoughts.  I stopped identifying with those thoughts so much. I stopped believing everything that I thought. Said differently and much more accurately, I should say that stopping simply happened as I learned to observe my thoughts more closely. My thoughts stopped bothering me when I stopped feeding them with attention. I stopped picking up the "phone," so to speak, when unsupportive, unproductive, and disempowering thoughts kept ringing me, begging for my attention. Slowly but surely, those thoughts stopped harassing me so much. That's the most important lesson I learned: don't feed bad thoughts attention and they'll stop growing so violently.


Q: Your book is entitled “Happiness From the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment.” What is the most important message you would like to convey to all those single individuals who are unhappy being single? 

The most important message I'd like to convey to single people that are unhappy is to forget about getting into a relationship, forget about getting married, and just focus on being unconditionally happy. Married people are, by and large, happier than their unmarried counterparts, science says. That may be true, but it's in part because those same married people were also happy before marriage. In other words, happy people tend to be attracted to each other. Happiness is attractive! Literally! The happiest relationships are composed of two happy people. So if you want to be happily related or happily married, get happy first. Get really, really happy. See, love is not the opposite of aloneness. Love is the overflowing of aloneness. I tell people to become like a rain cloud. Fill yourself up with so much love and happiness that you can't contain yourself, that you want to just explode and burst and shower the entire earth and all its people with that love and happiness. You share your love and happiness not because you're trying to get something from the other. You share your love and happiness because it's a great relief, a great unburdening for you. So be like the rain cloud: get happy first, make happiness your top priority and your dominant intent, and then let love blossom naturally, organically from this place of joyful aloneness.

Q:  Why do you think self-love is a key ingredient to a successful relationship?

Self-love is critical to a successful relationship because every relationship, believe it or not, is a mirror. So when you enter into a relationship, your problems and insecurities are reflected back to you by the other. Your insecurities and problems are brought to light. They are not even just added to. They are multiplied. If you cannot love yourself, then how can you expect to give what you do not have? You can only give what you have. So learn to love yourself and then you'll have something to share. Don't enter into your relationships thinking that somebody else can make you whole, make you complete. Only you can make yourself feel adequate. Nobody else ever can or will fill that void inside of you. So look for things about yourself to appreciate. And keep looking and listing and reminding yourself of those things until you begin to really feel the love! And don't attach conditions to this self-love. Love yourself regardless of the extra pounds, too few dollars, or your age.

Q: For many, the dating process can lead to feelings of disappointment and inadequacy. How can individuals avoid those negative emotions or be better equipped to deal with them?

Many people experience feelings of disappointment and inadequacy during the dating process because they are not being completely present with each step in the process. Instead of being present, they might be expecting and judging each experience according to a set plan or a specific outcome they have in their head.  Instead of being totally present with each conversation, each date, each dinner, each movie, or each interaction, they're getting ahead of themselves and comparing each moment against the way they think things should go. They're missing each precious moment by filtering everything through their mind, their conditioned beliefs about how a date should go, where they should be in their lives, what they should say, what the other person should say, and so on. In other words, it's likely that they're judging and arguing with reality instead of enjoying the ride. Drop the expectations and look for the gift in each moment. Stop living your life in the future or the past and live this moment right here, right now. Every moment is a gift, a present. Unwrap the gift, my friends.

Q: Do you think online dating can positively impact an individual’s perspective on life and love? Why or why not?

Anything can positively impact an individual's perspective on life and love. Online dating is no exception. Anything that allows you to feel more self-efficacious, more confident, more hopeful, and more empowered will positively impact an individual's perspective on life and love. But whether an experience impacts an individual positively or negatively is up to the individual and the individual alone. Never judge an experience until you see how it is used. That's my recommendation. Every experience has the seed of transformation within it. The only questions are: are you paying attention and are you feeding, nourishing, and cultivating that seed?

Q: This April you will be offering a Life Makeover Cruise for women. Can you tell us a little bit more about the trip and how passengers are expected to benefit?

The Life Makeover Cruise is essentially an inside-out and outside-in beauty makeover. It's a vacation-at-sea that's chalk-full of fun-loving activities, rest and relaxation, and all kinds of socializing opportunities - if you so choose to partake.  But it's so much more, too! It's also  a crash course in living a happier, healthier, and wealthier life - aesthetically, spiritually, psychologically, physically, financially, materially, etc. This Life Makeover Cruise is a traditional cruise, Oprah makeover, dating and relationship workshop, ivy-league course in the science of happiness and success, and an upscale networking and socializing event all wrapped up in one! It's going to be a blast, a blockbuster event! Click here to learn more about the cruise.

Q: Happiness Workshops are also on your event agenda for 2010. What are some of the tools you offer to help attendees live more fulfilling lives?

With my happiness workshops, I'll introduce people to the art and ivy-league science of living their best life now! The workshops will be a quick and dirty orientation in what makes life worth living, what leads to the happiest lives and what doesn't, and tips and tricks for getting more tuned-in, tapped-in, and turned-on than ever! While the workshops will be interactive and largely conversational, they will be chock full of activities and exercises which will help people understand what may be preventing them from living happier lives today.  People will learn what they can do to immediately and instantly transform those roadblocks or stumbling blocks into stepping stones. Personal, one-on-one, confidential coaching sessions will also be offered on a first-come, first-served basis.

Q: Any other words of wisdom you care to share with our readers?

There is nothing more important than being happy. Everything that anybody has ever wanted to do, be, or have is because they think they will feel better for doing, being, or having it. The reason you want the new or improved relationship, the new car, the new job, more money, better health or a more attractive body, or anything else for that matter is because you want to be happy. It is a feeling you are after. Never forget this. Make happiness your measuring stick and redefine success and everything in your life in terms of the joy it brings you, period. So learn everything you can about happiness and what, personally, brings you happiness. And then lean in the direction of happier thoughts, happier words, and happier actions. So get happy and then trust that all the successful life outcomes will follow accordingly.