Sacred Sex? A Glimpse into The Tantric Movement

Are sex, money and romance interdependent? I found myself debating this topic with six other women on a panel which kicked off a weekend of seminars, events and lectures on the subject of sex. Truth is that I was so honored to be asked to present that I never investigated the nature of the weekend-long symposium.   But when a dance troupe of naked women appeared as the opening act, I realized that I might be out of my element.

Though I had spoken once briefly to one of the event organizers, Reid Mihalko, I was not quite sure how and why he selected me to be a part of this tantric sex convention. While sexual ecstasy is one of the greatest sources of pleasure it is often faced with fear and uncertainty. Tantra is an ancient practice which teaches us how to regain our sexual energy, and through this art we learn how to turn moments of sexual ecstasy into a lifetime of sexual bliss.

The audience was filled with men and women across the relationship spectrum.  Despite the range of possibilities given the title of the seminar, Sacred Sex, the questions posed to us by moderator Diana Adams, Esq. were clean, honest and thought-provoking, beginning with “how do we define power as women?” After two hours of deliberations I felt an “awakening” on many issues.  Here are my takeaways:

1.       Money Misery Can Spoil Your Appetite: Can’t seem to locate your libido after losing a job, annual earnings or savings? Consider yourself a casualty of the economy. A person’s sexual energy is directly linked to their perception of their financial well being, insisted fellow panelist Jacquette M. Timmons. If you’re tired of feeling sexually despondent, money rather than sex therapy may be the solution. Helen Kim and Lora Saseila are two gurus based out of New York that are helping women overcome money relationship woes, and you can find them each respectively at: YourMoneyRelationship.com and FinanciallySmitten.com

2.      Online Social Networks are not the Only Place to Find Your Pleasure:  The second issue that became clear during the course of the roundup was a need for a greater, more meaningful connection with ourselves and with people beyond that which we are currently experiencing.  In addition to encouraging individuals to form their own offline support networks or “neo-tribes,” Sheri Winston, best selling author and founder of the Center of Intimate Arts, encouraged all the ladies to understand how to touch themselves. If you are ready to unleash your inner goddess, her book “Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure” is a good place to start. Winston also offers a “Solo SexCraft Class” in which she delivers tools and techniques to help individuals experience pleasure and ecstasy, or you can or try the Mama Gina’s School of Womanly Arts which offers virtual pleasure bootcamps.

3.      Men, Here’s What Women Want: Though the theme of the evening was women and power, there were plenty of men in the room who shared the same objective:  to understand what woman want in a mate. Annie Lalla, an expert on love and relationships who is also known as the “Cartographer of Love,” shared the best tip of the night when she said women are seeking “emotional warriors.” The division between the sexes has faded and unlike past generations, the new sexy is defined by men who are equipped to handle their and their partner’s emotions.  For those of you who are unsure what that looks like, Lalla offers a special report and tools, available for free sign-up at  Annielalla.com

Following the debate, I conducted one-on-one interviews with several women in the group. No surprise that many of the women with whom I spoke are still using sex as a tool. Depending on the situation it can be a power play or a way to please others. But the real intimacy that leads to tantric arousal requires honesty, openness and, more than anything else, the permission to give and receive pleasure. Who’s ready to take the challenge?