Secrets to a Successful Divorce

Q: Where do you live?
I live in South Florida

Q: Biggest accomplishment you achieved on your own?
Writing and publishing my book, Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce was a huge accomplishment for me because I honestly never thought I would write a book. I felt compelled to share my story and help other women after going through a very difficult divorce.

Q: Can you tell us a little bit more about your book?
I share my own story and give specific tips and recommendations on how not to be taken advantage of during the divorce process. Women will discover the survival skills that will save them time, money and heartache during their divorce. The book covers issues like how to find the right divorce attorney, dealing with a husband who cheats, what you must do to protect yourself financially, how to win in the courtroom, helping your children heal after divorce, dating after divorce and other divorce recovery strategies.

Q: Based on your experiences, how can parents make divorce easier on their kids?
Your children's divorce experience, and how they will react and cope, are directly impacted by how both parents behave and handle the divorce. An amicable, quick divorce is always best. A divorce battle will most certainly negatively affect your child. Sometimes an adversarial divorce cannot be avoided, so in those circumstances it is crucial to not expose your child to the ugly details of your divorce. Make sure the kids understand that the divorce is not their fault and that both mom and dad love them. Most importantly, do not bad mouth each other or use the kids as pawns to gain control over your partner.

Q: What are some helpful ways for newly divorced individuals to deal with anger?
Anger and any out of control behavior will affect your divorce case and hurt you in the courtroom. You must stay in control of your emotions, but it is easier said than done. During a divorce your emotions are raw and you naturally feel hurt and angry. There are ways to deal with this when you are feeling angry. Count to ten, write a letter to your ex and burn it, call a friend and vent, do anything to release that anger in a healthy way without directing it at your spouse.

Q: Name a hobby, activity or guilty pleasure that always gets you out of a bad mood.
I love to read and am a self-improvement junkie, so when I am in a bad mood, I reach for a good book or watch an inspiring movie and feel better.

Q: Are there any support groups or resources in your area that you would like to recommend to women going through divorce?
I run a divorce support group in Fort Lauderdale on meetup.com. It is a great way to meet other people in the same situation and make new friends.

Q: Any tips for single parents who are constantly trying to balance career, home and children?
Understand that you can't possibly do it all and not feel stressed. It is crucial that you schedule time to rejuvenate and do things that you enjoy. Most single parents are always putting the kids first and neglecting themselves. In the long run that is detrimental to the kids because you will eventually burn out and not have the energy for them.

Q: Best place for solo parents to meet members of the opposite sex? What about new friends?
After a divorce it is tough getting back out there and meeting new people. You feel like you have outgrown the night clubs and wonder where you can go to meet quality people. Some online dating services work well because you can pre-screen potential dates. A fun night out dancing with your friends, without expectations of meeting a potential mate, is a good way to get out and have good time. The best "place" to meet someone of the opposite sex for a new relationship would be somewhere you can go to do something you enjoy, like a hobby, interest or sport. You will meet like-minded people of both sexes and can develop new friendships and possibly meet a potential partner.

Q: What is the single most important lesson you learned by being a single mom?
Patience. Because a single mom does not have the other parent there to help with the kids, your nerves can be tested. It is tough for single moms having to do everything. Especially when it comes to disciplining the kids and you can't say "wait until your father gets home" anymore. You are it. So, a single mom needs to be patient not only with her kids, but with herself and not try to be "supermom" and feel guilty if everything is not perfect.

Q: What do you love about being single? All of the closet and drawer space What do you love about being single?
All of the closet and drawer space and my king size bed all to myself! No more husband snoring all night long:)

Q: Any other words of wisdom?
A divorce is painful but it can also open you up to a new exciting chapter in your life. I am happier now than I was when I was married, but had you told me that 5 years ago, I would have not believed you. Divorce does turn your life upside down, but it can also release you from a relationship that was not empowering. After a divorce you have a choice to either stay miserable and stuck in the past, placing blame on your ex or move forward and become excited at all of the new opportunities that are available to you.

Please check out Christina's Website, www.secretsofdivorce.com.