Sex Help for My Depressed Best Friend

Q: I am best friends with a guy who suffers with severe bouts of anxiety and depression.  And his symptoms seem to be getting worse. He refuses to go on anti-depressants  for fear that it will ruin his interest in sex as well as performance. It pains me to see a grown man suffering and self-sabotaging, and I wonder if there is anything I can do to help?

 

 

 

 

 

You sound like a really good friend.  I think the message here is that bouts of anxiety, depression and rumination about antidepressants might intefere more with this guy's social and sexual life than the possible side effects of medication. In a healthy relationship in which good communication is an essential element, if there are any side effects of this sort, they would be discussed, understood, accepted and worked around.

Since this person has expressed to you his concern about sexual performance and anti-depressants, you may want to suggest that he visit the AASECT.org website where he can find a certified sex therapist who is nearby.  A credible sex therapist will do a detailed evaluation, look into the issues that keep him sabotaging and refer him to a physician knowledgeable about sexual medicine, if medication is indicated.  Today, there are more medications that are sex positive and may be given in combination with other meds or alone so that sexual performance is affected less, if at all.  Regardless, feelings of anxiety and depression should always be discussed with a physican.   

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DISCLAIMER: This format is general in nature and not intended as a personal response to each question nor is it a subtitute for individualized medical or psychological care, diagnosis or treatment.