Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Q: I have been married for 33 years and my partner has been cheating on me the whole time, I recently found this out. I am seriously thinking of divorce, is it feasible for a woman in her mid 50's to live alone ???

What you should remember, despite whatever anyone else tells you, is that there is no right or wrong decision. Staying with your husband is perfectly alright, if you are able to live without hate or resentment knowing about his long history of infidelity. However, if you choose to move on, trust that a world of infinite possibility awaits a woman like you. In fact, a study I came across revealed that the majority of midlife divorces are initiated by women.

Don't believe it? In a recent A.A.R.P. survey, 66 percent of women reported that they asked for the divorce, compared with 41 percent of men. And men more often than women were caught off-guard by their divorce (the news blind-sided 26 percent of men, compared with 14 percent of women).

As for your age, consider it a gift that comes with wisdom, strength, courage and freedom that we do not always possess when we are younger. The same A.A.R.P. survey found that midlife divorcers were just as happy as other single Americans their own age, regardless of how long they were married.

You need to take care of you, right now. Taking the necessary time alone to heal and process your emotions would be a good place to start for you. Even if it means a week away alone, some individual therapy sessions or a support group help. It would also be good for you to connect with women who have lived through a mid life divorce, you'd be surprised to find that many are living happily ever after and so can you.

And finally, the legal angle. If you want to pursue divorce, I strongly advise you to first consult an attorney to better understand your rights. You need to understand how this will affect you financially, as you still have many years ahead of you and need to make sure you are making prudent decisions as to your future.

Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.

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