Single Men and The Quest for Biological Children

By Mindy Berkson, founder of Lotus Blossom Consulting For many single men, the Father’s Day holiday can remind them of what they don’t have, but perhaps want – a child of their own.  These days, more and more single men, both gay and straight, are hearing the tick tock of their biological clock.

While there are very few statistics that support this phenomenon, many surrogacy and adoption agencies say that they are seeing more single men choosing fatherhood.  With today’s advanced fertility technologies, such as egg donation and surrogacy, having biological children is becoming a reality for single men.

While these advanced technologies offer hope and high success rates, getting through it as a single man can be difficult because it is such unfamiliar terrain.  I see it every day with my single male clients.  Some of them have a difficult time persuading surrogate mothers, egg donors, adoption agencies and birth mothers that they would be suitable parents.  Others have trouble navigating some of the more “hidden challenges” such as the legal and financial issues. This is where single men need to create their own team of advocates to help them through the process, including attorney’s, financial advisors, estate planners and an outside infertility consultant, such as myself, who can help them line up the appropriate experts, and counsel them through their pathway to parenthood.

For example, egg donation is regulated and /or prohibited in many countries. I always recommend that my clients work with an attorney that specializes in reproductive law and have them draft a contract to establish and confirm the parental rights over any child. When going through egg donation, it is always best to work with a woman between the ages of 21 and 32 years of age to increase success rates for pregnancy up to about 65 percent.

The legal aspects surrounding surrogacy are also very complex.  There is a default legal assumption in most states that the woman giving birth to a child is the legal mother. It is so important for single men to understand and address these laws from the beginning so they can be recognized as the legal parent right from the birth of a baby. It is also helpful for single men to understand and plan for some of the hidden costs of surrogacy such as paying for the surrogate’s mother travel expenses and healthcare costs throughout the term of her pregnancy.

These are all things that most single men never think about in their quest to having a biological child. By putting the right team of professionals in place, single men can reduce the emotional turmoil and financial risk and realize their dreams of having a family.

Mindy Berkson has more than a decade of experience in the infertility field and founded one of the first infertility consultancies in the United States, Lotus Blossom Consulting, LLC. Mindy has guided hundreds of intended parents through the stressful demands of the infertility process by providing professional and compassionate assistance in dealing with the emotional, physical, and financial barriers involved with third-party reproduction.  Mindy can be reached at  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or on the web at www.LotusBlossomConsulting.com and www.TheInfertilityConsultant.com.