Single and Stuck on the Sofa for the Holidays

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Q: I am scheduled to go home to my parents over Christmas. The problem is that even though I am the oldest of 3 children, both of my baby brothers are married which means it’s sofa time for me. I resent feeling like a second class citizen, especially during the holidays. What should I do?

You are not alone, as I have fielded similar complaints on this topic before. I have a feeling that many singles will be exiled to the sofa this holiday season. Having been there, done that, I completely understand what it feels like to spend your vacation deprived of sleep and privacy when all you really want is rest, relaxation and a little T.L.C from the family. When a family has outgrown their home, there are several ways to remedy the sleeping arrangements so that everyone is treated fairly.

1. Check In To a Hotel: Though this is the quickest fix it may not be economically feasible and can make you feel like you are missing out on some of the fun and festivities. If this is the case, suggest alternating turns so that everyone shares in the expenses and other inconveniences.

2. Opt to Stay with Friends: A trip back home can be more than just family time. Rather than rushing to meet up with friends in between the family meals, choose to stay with one of them. This will give you plenty of late night hours to catch up and connect with your best buddies without feeling guilt or pressure from your parents and siblings.

3. Choose to Go Off-Season: If what you are dealing with is a full house and you simply cannot handle it, try scheduling your visits at another time. While you may not be able to enjoy the full family time, the one-on-one with your parents is a blessing you will learn to enjoy.

4. Find a Common Ground: Many families have relocated their holiday gatherings due to distance, time and space limitations. Four days at a lodge or timeshare that is centrally located may be the smart way to go, particularly if people are traveling from all over the country.

Emotions run wild when families come together and it’s easy to revert back to your youth by throwing a tantrum or having a screaming match with parents and/or siblings. So no matter which solution you choose, make sure that you keep a level head while taking care of and being fair to yourself.