Tales of a Plus-Sized Princess

Q: What inspired you to start “The Big Girl Blog?”
The Big Girl Blog started as kind of an anonymous diary for me. Anyone who knows me "in real life" never hears me talk about my weight but I had all these stories. Some were good, some were bad and a lot of them were funny/interesting but they all centered around me being plus size. The Big Girl Blog created a space where I could put those stories out there. When my readership began to grow I realized I wasn't alone, which was incredible.

Q: Can you tell us one thing we don’t know about you that has not yet been revealed to online readers?
Oh wow… you're putting me on the spot! Okay, let's see... There's a guy I've written about in the past named Robert. Most of my readers think I need to let go of him, which I understand. But something in me can't do it! So I stopped writing about him but... I still go out with him a lot and I still think he and I have something special. (Argh, I hope my readers don't kill me!)

Q: You are a West Coast woman who has been transplanted to the Island of Manhattan. What is the biggest adjustment this move has forced you to make?
Living here has taught me that there is a place for everyone and if you don’t see a space where you fit in, it's up to you to carve it out. The Big Girl Blog is a great example of that. I thought that I could move to New York, sit back and watch my dreams come true, but that's not the case. Anything is possible in New York City, but nothing is handed to you.

Q: You coined the expression “Plus Sized Princess,” how and why did you come up with it?
Ah, good question!  I've observed that people assume big girls lack femininity, but I'm probably the most feminine person I know! Writing anonymously can make it hard to convey my true colors. So I started referring to myself as a PSP (Plus Size Princess) so that people understood the type of girl I am: I’m girly, I like pink frilly things, I expect a man to be chivalrous etc. For me, the most flattering thing was when my readers started calling themselves PSP’s too. I love that they identify with me in that way.

Q: If you could give one message to all those who are struggling with weight and body image, what would it be?
Don't wait on your weight… for anything. Sometimes we get in our own way and we miss out on what life has to offer. We say to ourselves “If I were thinner I could join that dating website” or “When I lose 20 pounds, I’ll______.” I believe you can date, travel and experience all that life has to offer at any size.

Q: What has writing a blog that is so personal helped you learn about yourself?
My readers have taught me a lot. I don’t have any plus size friends, so there are a lot of things I only discuss on The Big Girl Blog and I feel like I grow with every comment I receive. My readers know some of my deepest insecurities and they often show me that 1.) I'm not alone and 2.) I'm better than I think I am. Although, sometimes they have to remind me of that!

Q: In one of your blog posts you write a story about “Skinny Bitches.” Care to share it with our readers?
Sure! Basically, a news reporter approached me inside my gym when I was working out and asked to interview me about how I felt exercising next to "Skinny Bitches." I was pretty shocked and offended because she made a lot of wrong assumptions about me. I don't think about other people when I work out and I definitely don't have an "Us vs. Them" mentality when it comes to big girls and thin women. A person's size has nothing to do with who they are, duh!

Q: How do you go about meeting men in a city like NYC?
Um... it depends on the day! I have fun dating online, because it takes some of the body image pressure off. New York City is amazing because there's always a chance to meet someone new. As a PSP, I don't always feel comfortable in New York bars/clubs. A few summers ago an acquaintance introduced me to the BBW club scene (BBW = Big Beautiful Women). There are bars and clubs in Manhattan for plus size women and the men who love them. But honestly, I don't feel entirely comfortable there either. At the end of the day, I like to meet guys the old fashioned way: through friends, in group settings, at work... I'm always surprised at the men who approach me when I don't allow my insecurities tp get in the way.

Q:  If there was one thing about the dating process you could change, what would it be?
I would probably change myself! I am a very traditional girl. I expect a lot from the guys that I date and that will never change. But I think I hide behind tradition and expectations. Its easy for me to avoid putting myself "out there" when I'm always waiting on men to approach me, confess their feelings etc.

Q: Any other tips you care to share with our readers?
Don't be afraid to try something new and think outside the box. It's easy to get into a rut when it comes to dating, fitness or even our daily routines, but it's like they say "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten."

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