Toss Out "When You Least Expect It" Advice

Q: I keep meeting women from online and other dating services and nothing ever seems to work out. I live my life and am always open and people say you'll meet someone when you least expect it. Well, I never expect anything yet nothing happens. I can't just leave my life up to chance. Any ideas?

I get this question all the time from people who are looking for love. Based on what I've seen, the opposite of "when you least expect it" should hold true. Though chance certainly plays a role in life, by surrendering your expectations you are ultimately relinquishing control. Life is more fun when you wake up with a hopeful heart rather than a defeated one.

Because you haven't provided too many details, I must start with the basics. I always tell people to begin by pursuing their interests outside of work. Take up a group sport, class or join a social club. I also recommend trying to engage in at least one new activity a week that is outside of your comfort zone. For example, if you refuse to go to the movies or restaurant alone, try it. You just never know who you will meet and what you will discover by breaking down self-imposed barriers.

When it comes to meeting new people, regardless of whether there is an initial attraction, try to throw out the pad of paper in your head that has you listing their pros and cons as a long-term life partner. By suspending judgment you will be able to engage in the conversation more freely and appreciate the getting to know you process. And as for dating, don't rule out the second date. You see the truth is, you can't really get to know someone or your feelings for them in the time it takes to drink one drink, so give them and yourself a chance.

And take it from me, love has a way of finding people - some sooner than others, but it is worth the wait!

Sherri

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