Trysts in the Triangle from Suzanne in North Carolina

Q: Where are you from?
I'm originally from a small town in Illinois. I now live in Raleigh, NC.

Q: Biggest accomplishment you achieved on your own?
After grad school I went on a six-week backpacking trip through nine countries in Europe, a trip that included paragliding and working as a nanny for one month in Italy. I was pretty shy back then, so the fact that I even went at all was a huge achievement, not to mention jumping off a mountain! I loved learning the little things about how to get around, travel, navigate and communicate in foreign countries. Now, I feel much more broadened from that experience.

Q: Name three things a man can do on a date that would make you lose interest?
I lose interest immediately if he is rude to the waiter or waitress, discusses religion or fails to demonstrate some interest in me during our conversation. 

Q: Name a funny or frightening home-alone incident (i.e. mice, flooding toilet) and how you managed to survive it on your own.
When I first moved to Raleigh I moved in with a man around my age to be his roommate. He seemed normal enough, a bit quiet, but nice. He kept to his room most of the time. One night, I was in bed reading when there was a knock at my door. I was not suitably dressed, so I threw on some clothes and opened the door to speak to my roommate. He wasn’t there. Instead, I stepped into the hallway to find him standing in his bathroom, the door half open, wearing only his boxer briefs. “Awkward” doesn’t even describe how I felt. He then began a strange conversation, during which I mentioned the rent check, which I’d left for him. LONG pause. “So I was wondering if we could hang out sometime,” he said.

“Sure,” I said. “Next time I go out with my friends, you’re more than welcome to come along. And you know, you can hang out in the living room once in awhile.”

Pause. “Actually, I was hoping we could hang out, in there,” he said, pointing to my bedroom.

“Um, no, that’s not ok,” I said, heart pounding. “We can be roommates and friends, but that’s it.”

I tried to keep my tone friendly, but direct, uncertain of what would happen to me if he got angry with my response. “Ok,” he said.

We both retreated. I immediately locked my bedroom door, something I’d not before bothered to do. New in town, I didn’t know many people, but I called a girl I’d also interviewed as a possible roommate. Luckily, she answered. I ended up spending two nights on her couch before returning to my apartment. The first night, I barely slept. When I returned, I found out my roommate had been laid off and was moving to another state. Otherwise, I would have moved out! We barely spoke for the remaining week he was in town.

Q: You have your own blog. Can you tell us a little bit more about it and what inspired you to start writing about your life?
I have written in various forms since childhood. When I reached a new point in life here in Raleigh, it struck me that a blog would allow me to renew my creative writing. It could also provide healing process as I learned about myself, dealt with two recent breakups and forged ahead into the future.

Q: What do you love most about being single?
I love the freedom of doing what I want when I want, not thinking about someone else's schedule and how he might be affected by my decisions. 

Q: Best spot to dine out alone in your area?
Raleigh Times. It has quick pub food, good beer, a lively atmosphere, and if you want someone to talk to, just say hi to the bartender or person sitting next to you.

Q: What advice would you give to singles that have put their lives on hold until “they meet the one?”
DON’T. Life is short. Yes, we all want to find someone to share it with, but meanwhile, go out there and make your life yours. Have fun, join groups, get involved with your hobbies. Do something reckless, adventurous. Fill your time with great people and great activities. Soon, you’ll forget about meeting the one and that’s when he will show up.

Q: Breaking up with friends is one of the hardest things to do. What’s the best way to handle it?
Directly. I tell everyone I know that being direct may seem like it is more painful, but it’s always worse to drag things out. Yes, the truth hurts. But it hurts more later to realize that person who broke up with you was stringing you along the whole time and fed you a number of stories just to get out of the relationship/friendship.

Q: How does one bounce back when all of their friends suddenly get married?
Remember that you cannot control when you meet Mr. Right. It’s not a race. Meanwhile, keep going out, meet some new single friends and remember not to put your life on hold. There are many advantages to being single over being married. Feel free to remind your friends of that next time they ask why you’re STILL single.


Please visit Suzanne's Blog at: Triangle Trysts