Wedding Invite Etiquette

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Q: I am a 37 year old single woman and was recently invited to a co-worker’s wedding minus a date. Though I want to attend, I am not comfortable going solo since I will not know any of the other guests. Is it okay to call and ask them if I can bring someone with me?

It’s that time of the year again and many singles find themselves in the same predicament as you, searching for etiquette advice during wedding season. So we checked in with the Emily Post rules book, and were disappointed to still find that according to Ms. Manners “allowing single guests who aren’t attached to a significant other to bring a date is a thoughtful gesture, but one that is not required.” And, in direct response to your question they state, “It is impolite of a guest to ask if he or she can bring a date—but it is not impolite of you to refuse.”

I recognize that this advice is not easy to accept and having lived through the same situation on countless occasions myself, personally disagree.   Because I believe that after a certain age, everyone should be invited with a date and if the soon-to-be married couple cannot accommodate all attendees respectfully, then they should simply cut down their invite list.

Unfortunately, not everything is black and white and often time there are extenuating circumstances which dictate the numbers. If you consider the following, it may be easier for you to make a “no-go” decision:

-          If it’s an intimate affair or small destination wedding with only closest family and few friends.
-          If there are there budgetary concerns which are causing cut backs.
-          If someone else is hosting/planning the party.

Nonetheless, you may still have hesitations about going solo, which are completely understandable. The best thing to do is to respectfully decline and state your concerns only if asked. That way, you leave it in your co-worker’s hands to make the final call.