What To Do About Well Meaning Friends and Relatives

It happens every time you go to a family function. Be it the meddling aunt or uncle, distant cousin (whose significant other would never make it past the phone interview with you) or friend of one of your parents. So the next time someone pops "the question", here are the top 20 responses that are sure to shut them up!

TWENTY QUICK COME BACKS

1. What? And spoil my great sex life?
2. Why aren't you dating/divorced yet?
3. It gives my Mother/Father something to live for.
4. I'm not willing to give up on love just yet.
5. Just lucky, I guess.
6. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
7. Is this a proposal?
8. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
9. I'm waiting for you to get divorced so I can marry your wife/husband.
10. It didn't seem worth a blood test.
11. The mail order bride/groom hasn't arrived from Russia yet.
12. "I'm not done boozing and whoring"
13. Because having both a husband and a child would be redundant.
14. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
15. I'm waiting for your son/daughter to turn 18.
16. Because your [wife|husband] won't leave you
17. Why settle for just one.
18. "Because I haven't found a partner who can make me as happy as I make myself."
19. So I don't have to cheat on my left hand.
20. My prince charming made a wrong turn.