Q: Please tell us a little bit more about your site The Social Man.

Back in 2004, I was asked by a friend to help him start a company to teach guys how to pick up women. By 2006, we were the biggest "pickup artist" training company in the world. I left around that time for a variety of reasons, and started TSM a few years later. The Social Man is one step further - we give guys no-compromise advice on how to attract and engage women, but we want guys of all stripes - whether they want to make the most of their single lives, or just want to find one special girl - to know that they have a home here.

Q: What's the biggest mistake single men make when it comes to meeting women?

Well, women will tell you that men don't relate to them well enough.  But men I talk to say that they can't attract the women they're actually interested in. So it depends on which sex you ask :)

Honestly though, the biggest mistake I see is when guys aren't having fun. If you're enjoying yourself and you have a smile on your face,women will take notice and want to talk to you. We've got a bunch of games that we teach our clients, for example, to make their social interactions more about enjoying themselves and less about achieving a particular outcome. And paradoxically, that always seems to get them what they want.

Q: Best but least expected places to meet singles?

Probably walking down the street. Most guys never stop to talk to women on the street, but it's pretty easy to stop a woman, give her a sincere compliment, chat with her for a minute or two, and walk away with a number if she's single. It takes a lot of confidence, but a guy who starts doing it can have a lot of fun once he gets the hang of it.

Q: Do you think women and men can/should be friends after a break up? Why or why not?

Only if there's been some space. People need time to grow on their own after a breakup, because they clearly weren't growing in the right direction together. Once that growth has occurred they can reassess and maybe be friends, or maybe even get back together. But this is one of those cases where patience is not only advisable, it's necessary.

Q: What are some first date mistakes every single guy should avoid?

Well, being cheap is a dealbreaker for most girls. Being boring isn't very good either. And you don't want to show too much sexual interest or be too needy. I usually suggest a drinks date. If it's going really well, let it go to two drinks. But always end it first - especially if you've been having fun. Most guys who are on good first dates want to push their luck - if you're the one who stands apart by ending it first, it'll keep her wondering what's up until she hears from you again. I'll caveat that by saying I've ended up in relationships with girls who I took to dinner on the first date, or invited to a social function, or whatever... but a drinks date is definitely a safe way to play it.

Q: For many, the pick-up line is the hardest one to come by. Any conversation starters you would recommend when approaching a stranger?

I came up with one of my favorites back at this bar in college. I'd been out jean shopping with a female friend, and learned a lot about girl jeans that day. I was at the bar later that night, and saw some girl wearing a pair that would have looked great on my friend. "Hey," I said. "Those jeans look amazing on you. I was shopping with my friend Brie today and we couldn't find any, but I feel like those would fit her perfectly. Mind if I ask where you got them and what brand they are?" This girl loved that I'd noticed that her jeans fit her, and it wasn't an obvious, direct compliment. That's a great way to start a conversation, and from there, you can tell her she's got good taste, you can joking tell her she should model for the jeans company, and so on. It's fun.

Q: Many people get to a point when they simply hate dating. How do you suggest they adjust their attitude?

Well I can't say that I love it myself... I'm much happier in relationships. But like anything in life, you can look at it as a goal to be achieved, or a set of experiences to enjoy and learn from. If you can approach dating as an experience to learn about others, and learn about yourself, then it becomes one of life's great adventures.

Q: Best Online dating tip you offer to bachelors?

I've never done it, but my buddy Race is all over it. You can't go wrong with having a really fun profile with a good description of yourself that makes you seem like someone that a woman would want to know.

Q: What other love lessons, if any, do you offer to bachelors?

Jeez, where to start. We could talk about everything from the guy's values and personal beliefs, to how to turn a woman on, to how to stay happy in relationships, to how to shed "nice guy" behaviors... it's pretty broad.

Q: How can guys turn a female friend into a long-term love?

Well, if there's a dynamic that he likes her but she doesn't like him back in that way, then he has to first break that. Better if it's not there to begin with. So maybe that's with space, or firm boundaries, or limited time to see her. It's NOT by being a jerk. But once that space is there, he can give her occasional compliments, but they have to be devoid of any emotion - almost factual statements - as if he was a safety engineer who'd just driven a Ferrari around a track. The guy isn't going to gush about it at risk of seeming unprofessional, but if it's a good car, he'll state the facts. Once a guy starts doing this with a woman, she'll wonder why he doesn't seem to want to get anything out of it. She'll usually start teasing him and testing him a bit, and this is where he can hold strong, reverse that chase dynamic, and let her come to him. It's a little more complicated than all that, but we've coached guys through it before.

Q: If at first you don't succeed, try again. On that note, should a guy be persistent if he is rejected by a woman?

I've dated girls who've initially rejected me, so I don't want to say that it can't happen, but honestly, once a girl has made her mind up about a guy, it's really hard to change it. If a guy "really" likes a girl he can try some different things, or he can come work with us. But unless he really wants to get strategic about it, it's best to move on. Wish I could say otherwise, but I know too many women and have heard too many stories about these situations to be overly optimistic. But hey - I'm still optimistic on sharing love with new people, and a guy can never go wrong when he's doing that.

Q: According to your bio you “experienced an inner transformation that changed the course of his life.” How did that shape the way you view things?

The inner transformation that I experienced taught me to become a lot more present. For me, presence means spending less time in my head and more time just being mindful of my thoughts - without judging them. I was unhappy prior to my transformation, I realized, because I was telling myself (and other people, too) an unhappy story about myself and about my life. With practice, I became much more aware of my thoughts.  I stopped identifying with those thoughts so much. I stopped believing everything that I thought. Said differently and much more accurately, I should say that stopping simply happened as I learned to observe my thoughts more closely. My thoughts stopped bothering me when I stopped feeding them with attention. I stopped picking up the "phone," so to speak, when unsupportive, unproductive, and disempowering thoughts kept ringing me, begging for my attention. Slowly but surely, those thoughts stopped harassing me so much. That's the most important lesson I learned: don't feed bad thoughts attention and they'll stop growing so violently.


Q: Your book is entitled “Happiness From the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment.” What is the most important message you would like to convey to all those single individuals who are unhappy being single? 

The most important message I'd like to convey to single people that are unhappy is to forget about getting into a relationship, forget about getting married, and just focus on being unconditionally happy. Married people are, by and large, happier than their unmarried counterparts, science says. That may be true, but it's in part because those same married people were also happy before marriage. In other words, happy people tend to be attracted to each other. Happiness is attractive! Literally! The happiest relationships are composed of two happy people. So if you want to be happily related or happily married, get happy first. Get really, really happy. See, love is not the opposite of aloneness. Love is the overflowing of aloneness. I tell people to become like a rain cloud. Fill yourself up with so much love and happiness that you can't contain yourself, that you want to just explode and burst and shower the entire earth and all its people with that love and happiness. You share your love and happiness not because you're trying to get something from the other. You share your love and happiness because it's a great relief, a great unburdening for you. So be like the rain cloud: get happy first, make happiness your top priority and your dominant intent, and then let love blossom naturally, organically from this place of joyful aloneness.

Q:  Why do you think self-love is a key ingredient to a successful relationship?

Self-love is critical to a successful relationship because every relationship, believe it or not, is a mirror. So when you enter into a relationship, your problems and insecurities are reflected back to you by the other. Your insecurities and problems are brought to light. They are not even just added to. They are multiplied. If you cannot love yourself, then how can you expect to give what you do not have? You can only give what you have. So learn to love yourself and then you'll have something to share. Don't enter into your relationships thinking that somebody else can make you whole, make you complete. Only you can make yourself feel adequate. Nobody else ever can or will fill that void inside of you. So look for things about yourself to appreciate. And keep looking and listing and reminding yourself of those things until you begin to really feel the love! And don't attach conditions to this self-love. Love yourself regardless of the extra pounds, too few dollars, or your age.

Q: For many, the dating process can lead to feelings of disappointment and inadequacy. How can individuals avoid those negative emotions or be better equipped to deal with them?

Many people experience feelings of disappointment and inadequacy during the dating process because they are not being completely present with each step in the process. Instead of being present, they might be expecting and judging each experience according to a set plan or a specific outcome they have in their head.  Instead of being totally present with each conversation, each date, each dinner, each movie, or each interaction, they're getting ahead of themselves and comparing each moment against the way they think things should go. They're missing each precious moment by filtering everything through their mind, their conditioned beliefs about how a date should go, where they should be in their lives, what they should say, what the other person should say, and so on. In other words, it's likely that they're judging and arguing with reality instead of enjoying the ride. Drop the expectations and look for the gift in each moment. Stop living your life in the future or the past and live this moment right here, right now. Every moment is a gift, a present. Unwrap the gift, my friends.

Q: Do you think online dating can positively impact an individual’s perspective on life and love? Why or why not?

Anything can positively impact an individual's perspective on life and love. Online dating is no exception. Anything that allows you to feel more self-efficacious, more confident, more hopeful, and more empowered will positively impact an individual's perspective on life and love. But whether an experience impacts an individual positively or negatively is up to the individual and the individual alone. Never judge an experience until you see how it is used. That's my recommendation. Every experience has the seed of transformation within it. The only questions are: are you paying attention and are you feeding, nourishing, and cultivating that seed?

Q: This April you will be offering a Life Makeover Cruise for women. Can you tell us a little bit more about the trip and how passengers are expected to benefit?

The Life Makeover Cruise is essentially an inside-out and outside-in beauty makeover. It's a vacation-at-sea that's chalk-full of fun-loving activities, rest and relaxation, and all kinds of socializing opportunities - if you so choose to partake.  But it's so much more, too! It's also  a crash course in living a happier, healthier, and wealthier life - aesthetically, spiritually, psychologically, physically, financially, materially, etc. This Life Makeover Cruise is a traditional cruise, Oprah makeover, dating and relationship workshop, ivy-league course in the science of happiness and success, and an upscale networking and socializing event all wrapped up in one! It's going to be a blast, a blockbuster event! Click here to learn more about the cruise.

Q: Happiness Workshops are also on your event agenda for 2010. What are some of the tools you offer to help attendees live more fulfilling lives?

With my happiness workshops, I'll introduce people to the art and ivy-league science of living their best life now! The workshops will be a quick and dirty orientation in what makes life worth living, what leads to the happiest lives and what doesn't, and tips and tricks for getting more tuned-in, tapped-in, and turned-on than ever! While the workshops will be interactive and largely conversational, they will be chock full of activities and exercises which will help people understand what may be preventing them from living happier lives today.  People will learn what they can do to immediately and instantly transform those roadblocks or stumbling blocks into stepping stones. Personal, one-on-one, confidential coaching sessions will also be offered on a first-come, first-served basis.

Q: Any other words of wisdom you care to share with our readers?

There is nothing more important than being happy. Everything that anybody has ever wanted to do, be, or have is because they think they will feel better for doing, being, or having it. The reason you want the new or improved relationship, the new car, the new job, more money, better health or a more attractive body, or anything else for that matter is because you want to be happy. It is a feeling you are after. Never forget this. Make happiness your measuring stick and redefine success and everything in your life in terms of the joy it brings you, period. So learn everything you can about happiness and what, personally, brings you happiness. And then lean in the direction of happier thoughts, happier words, and happier actions. So get happy and then trust that all the successful life outcomes will follow accordingly.

Q: The economic downturn has had a severe impact on older workers, leaving many of them unemployed and unable to find new work. How can those individuals who are suffering this type of career setback maintain their self-esteem so that it does not interfere in their personal relationships and search for love?

This is a great question.  I think it's really a shame that people believe that they have to put their search for personally meaningful relationships on hold if they've lost a job or are in the process of looking for a new position.  The assumption is that we won't be viewed as strong or capable if we are in a job search; that something is 'wrong' with us if we aren't employed.  This simply isn't true.  This is really more about a belief that we 'are' what we do, or that our 'worth' comes from our earning capability and our day-to-day work.   There's no doubt about it -- we do get a lot of our personal identity from our work.  The wonderful gift of being without employment is that we have time to explore other work options, and have time for the often forgotten activities and people who were once more important to us.  I talk to clients all the time who wish to have more time to find a mate or a companion and are working crazy hours.  They don't have the time to spend their money! Sometimes a layoff becomes the best gift a person can receive -- if they can allow themselves to look at it that way -- so that they can replenish themselves and become an interesting person beyond the person they've been at work.  So essentially, it's all in the way we choose to approach this time of unemployment.  A man or woman can become more empowered during a time of unemployment if they choose to look at this as a gift that will result in a happier life in the long run.  And, of course, it may mean being a little more clever about dates.  Really, there are so many fun and creative ways to enjoy another person's company that doesn't rely on expensive activities - and in fact many 'free' activities offer more of an opportunity for people to get to know each other in a more meaningful way.

Q: “If you like what you do, love will find you.” Clearly, this becomes harder after retirement so what are some of the ways in which boomers can continue to stay involved in their passions and connected with other individuals?

The second adulthood time is rich with opportunities to 'love what you do,' and be energized by the options life has to offer.  A client of mine was 72 -- he was getting bored with his life, doing routine things.  I found out that he loved traveling to countries and he wanted to go on a trip to Italy.  He didn't realize he could take Italian language classes online.  Once we found a class he was interested in he started having a ball! He started spending hours learning Italian and practicing it with friends at local restaurants and began planning his next trip.  Others find that getting involved in political or non-profit organizations has an energizing impact on their spirit.  What's more exiting, when you're meeting people, than someone who's turned on by the meaningful ideas and activities in their life? It's never too late to find this kind of excitement in life.  Boomers have a real advantage because they are, for the most part, healthy and educated and have the wherewithal to research and find the activities that can be fun, and alluring, for them.

Q: According to a July 2009 Careerbuilders.com study, nearly one quarter of workers aged 55 and over who were laid off last year said they were considering starting their own business. What advice would you give to would-be entrepreneurs who are approaching their golden years?

I think having your own venture is a wonderful undertaking, especially for motivated and creative boomers, because it offers flexibility, independence and the ability to utilize skills and knowledge developed from years in the marketplace.  Of course it's always important to do your homework.  That means, if you have an idea that you want to pursue, you need to do the necessary research to really understand the viability of your idea...and not get discouraged at the first bump or possible hiccup.  There are so many great resources online to understand the demographics of a neighborhood, let's say, or to research prices of materials.  The most important two things I think of is understanding your motivation for the business and also knowing your financial projections and how realistic they are.  Small Business Development Centers or the Small Business Administration can be helpful to conduct a smart 'reality check.'  It's also important to have the right people or team to support you when you're moving forward with your own business.  Nobody does everything themselves -- if you need help with marketing or financials, find the right people to help. Don't think help needs to be expensive.  There are lots of freelance consultants (look at www.guru.com for instance) who can off advice and help for a nominal fee. Sometimes investing in professional help can make all the difference in a launching a successful endeavor.

Q: Romances can flourish in the workplace but what should individuals consider before entering an office relationship?

Another good and important question! Many office cultures now have policies regarding in-office relationships.  Know the policies before getting involved with someone...it could mean the difference between having a job or not! The issues are complex when it comes to hierarchy between people in an office.  Sexual politics can turn sour very quickly.  If you are going to get involved with someone think about how closely aligned your colleagues, departments or bosses are.  Think about it like this:  How comfortable would you be dating someone who lived across the street or hall from you? If you feel a little cringe about this thought, then don't go forward with the relationship. Wait it out.  If the relationship becomes so enticing it might be worthwhile to look for a new job to minimize workplace issues.

Q: You offer Job Search & Networking Groups for Mid-Career Life Stages. Can you tell us a little bit more about the program?

These groups have been so helpful for people who have found themselves in a situation they never thought they'd be in.  People who have had really successful careers have suddenly found themselves writing the first resume they've needed in a decade.  Being with others who are also creating a 'plan B' is so helpful and inspiring.  In our groups people learn ways to effectively talk about what they're looking for, learn strategies for networking and utilizing new technologies to research opportunities or find helpful people, writing an effective resume for the job they want.  We keep the groups to under 10 people so everyone gets individualized attention, and everyone has the opportunity to learn from others experiences.  Finding and being with a community during a job search is so valuable.  People often isolate when they are looking for work.  These groups offer a safe, and even fun, place to talk about what's really happening; and we at Daisy Swan & Associates are all very grounded and positive so we keep people focused on the possibilities even when we might hear stories that can be discouraging.  We keep the groups looking forward to taking energizing and useful actions.  And people make great friends who are in different social circles; that helps to increase the 'networking pool' for everyone.

Q:  Any other word of wisdom you care to share with our readers?

Being curious about the world and all of the changes we're going through can be challenging sometimes when you just want things to go back to the way they were.  We have all experienced so much change in the past five years, 10 years.  It's only going to keep going this way.  So I encourage people to embrace change and uncertainty with as much humor and willingness as possible.  If you aren't familiar with new technologies push yourself to take a class or enlist one of your kids to help with your 'education.'  Being up-to-date will feel good and empowering and also bring more fun to your experience. Really.  Boomers are so smart about so many things; we're going to see so much more evolve in the next decade.  I think we're alive at a really cool time.  Embrace it.  There's really no wrong time to become a student of life, and being open to change is really sexy, don't you think?

To find out how Daisy Swan can help you, please visit www.DaisySwan.com.

Q: Congratulations on the release of your new book  "If He's Not the One, Who Is?" Can you tell our readers a little bit about it?
Yes! This book isn't just another dating book that tells you who's next and how to meet him. More importantly, I talk about what's next for YOU. What areas of your life do you want to focus on so you can celebrate yourself, starting today? If you find yourself suddenly single at an age or time in your life that you never expected, how can we reinvent so you fall madly in love with yourself and your life? I also share how you can cut down on wasted dating time in the future by getting really clear about what you want, and who would be an appropriate candidate to match your vision, PLUS how to tell the difference between Mr. Wrong, Mr. Next, and Mr. Right.

Q: Your first book, "It's a Break-Up, Not a Breakdown" sends a very  inspiring message. How do you help suddenly singles go from "Boohoo" to "Woohoo"?
It's a process, and it takes time. There are no quick fixes, which is the bad news. However, as you let yourself feel the pain, disappointment, loss, and frustration that your last relationship has ended, you give yourself permission to grieve. And in time, you allow yourself the space to re-envision your future and get excited about it. Eventually, you WANT to move on. That's when the Woohoo! sets in.


Q: You also have a 21 one day breakup recovery program. What are some of the tactics you include in your wellness plan?

The 3 most important parts of breakup recovery are:

1. Cut your ex out of your life or at least create new boundaries. 
I get the most resistance from my clients on this rule. But here's the deal. Your ex is now your ex. There's a reason it didn't work out. Do you REALLY want to stay connected, still have feelings for him, and slowly watch him move on with his life while you're a mess on the bathroom floor? It happens over and over again when women stay connected. That's why you must cut your ex out of your life, or at least create some serious new boundaries if you have to stay in contact because of children or a job.

2. Get a Boohoo Crew.
Now that your ex is out of your life, you must recruit your support system who cheers you on, lets you cry, and kicks your butt when you've been moping for too long. You can't do it alone. Don't even try.

3. Focus on YOUR future
Don't worry about what's next for your ex. Don't obsess about if and when he'll start dating again. Get excited about YOUR new life. What do you want to do next? Start living for YOU!

Q:  What are 3 warning signs that a relationship is doomed from the start?
When there's everyday drama, when you can't openly and easily communicate, when you're not equally invested in the relationship.

Q: Do you think women and men can/should be friends after a break up? Why or why not?
Men seem to be able to stay friends and still heal their hearts and date other people. Women can't. We're not wired that way. Our heart stays connected and that means we aren't moving on. Bad news for us when we realize we've been holding out hope of reconciling and he's already in a new relationship. Ouch!

Q:  Best but least expected places to meet singles?
The grocery store. You can tell a lot about a man by what's in his grocery cart. One of my clients met her husband at Trader Joes. Another one regularly meets men at Whole Foods. Next time you go grocery
shopping, throw on a cute sweater and put some lip gloss on!

Q: How does one deal with the uncomfortable "bump into" moments that are bound to happen after a split?
With grace, humility, and a sense of humor. And have your Boohoo Crew on speed dial.


Q: What about the friend factor. Can/should you stay closely connected to your ex's close circle? And if not, how do you deal with that sudden separation?
Friends can be casualties of a breakup. It would be great if everyone could stay connected and friendly, but how are you going to heal and move on if you're still going to all the same parties and social gatherings as your ex?


Q:  Any other words of wisdom?
As women, we are more resilient than we can imagine. When we give ourselves permission to reinvent and move on, magic happens! I see it time and time again with my clients, and it's always breathtaking and heroic.

Q: You are one of the rare career coaches who focuses on singles issues. What inspired you to start Singles Career Coaching?

There was a point in my life where I needed career and life coaching myself, and I felt frustrated because it seemed the professionals who offered their advice didn’t understand the single lifestyle and the special challenges singles face. I spent a great deal of time searching for professional coaches – specifically for single adults – and I kept coming up empty. So around that time, I decided to provide a much-needed service for the singles community.

Q: How can singles ensure that the benefits they receive from your services are on par with their married peers?

For many single adults, career success and personal satisfaction is not always just one job away. In today’s turbulent economy and dwindling job market, single adults face special challenges – they have to do it all on their own. They don’t have a spouse or partner to “fall back on,” so to speak.

Single professionals also need special tools, resources and support to advance their careers or transition to a different career while still maintaining balance in other areas of their lives. So, I offer presentations, workshops, training sessions and one-on-one coaching for singles to help them in various capacities, such as:

• Landing their dream job
• Getting out of debt
• Earning more money
• Establishing a plan for financial freedom
• Transforming their career
• Attaining a promotion
• Gaining skills for more advanced jobs
• Launching or expanding a business
• Increasing business profitability

Q: In your opinion, what are the three most common problems individuals face due to their solo status?

Singles face many special challenges in today’s economy and social milieu:

• Singles may not have an intimate partner to lean on. They have no second income to help “cushion” them through their own transition times or periods of regrouping.

• Singles may not have the benefit of a listening ear or sounding board with whom to discuss goals, frustrations and strategies for moving on in life. This, in turn, makes them worry more because they just don’t have anyone close enough to just “hear them,” and they frequently feel very alone.

• Singles often don’t know what to do to get to the next step. Singles need structure in their lives, and they need objectivity from someone else’s perspective to set milestones along their career paths, as well.

Q: The holidays are right around the corner. How can individuals utilize the company party to get ahead in their career?

Network, Network, Network!
If you are attending your own company party, be careful that you don’t give the illusion that you want to leave the company, even if you’re very unhappy; never burn bridges, especially before you’ve crossed them! Also, casually approach only those who you believe have the authority to make decisions in the company. Nine times out of ten, professionals really appreciate and feel respected when others ask for their advice. And, if you see unfamiliar faces, by all means, introduce yourself—they may be your stepping stone to a fantastic opportunity. Finally, it’s very important to be a great listener and observe what others are talking about.

If you are attending another company’s party, again, listen and observe – your eyes and ears are often your best “networking” antennas, so use them! Also, it’s not the time to be shy -- make the rounds to unfamiliar faces and get to know more about what they do – people genuinely enjoy talking about themselves, so “What do you do?” is always a great conversation-opener.

Q: You offer career retreats for single adults. Can you tell our readers what is involved in these special getaways?

Yes. Whether you look at it as a mini-vacation with life-changing results, or an intensive opportunity to create a better future for yourself, these weekend packages are an investment you'll never regret.


I use my connections, resources and experience in business and career building exclusively for singles. Singles Career Coaching offers thorough career planning services that include:
• Consultation with a Professional Resume Writer so that your best assets make the first impression;
• Consultation with a Corporate Image coach so that your appearance matches your potential;
• Specialized, industry-based Personalized Career Assessments to ensure that you are using your unique talents to the best of your ability;
• Tools and Techniques to help you create and obtain achievable and audacious career goals;
• Career-focused tools that will keep you motivated and moving forward, even when you feel you’ve lost momentum;
• Strategies designed to help you create your dream career faster than you ever imagined.
This all-inclusive event is designed especially for the needs of single people who are striving towards career success and fulfillment. The all-inclusive plan means that your luxury transportation (excluding airfare), meals and lodging are already covered so that you can concentrate fully on activities created to move you towards your dreams faster than ever.

Q: Discrimination in the workplace is a hot topic, but when it comes to singles that subject is often not addressed. Why do you think this is the case, and how can individuals better deal with this form of unfair treatment?

Having experienced this treatment first-hand, it is important to realize that sometimes society automatically believes that if you are single, you do not have as many responsibilities as married people have and therefore have more time at your disposal to invest in working late, long hours and/or on weekends. As most singles know, that is not true. It is a fact that due to this mind-set in the working world, most singles tend to overcommit themselves, which leaves them without time to take proper care of their personal needs. And this, of course, leads straight to burnout.

It is essential that singles understand that they have a choice in their work environment. Most of the time, you can say “no” without it affecting your job. Certainly there will be times when overtime is required, but when it is not, don’t go out of your way to be the hero. Remember, you have a life too. If you feel as if you don’t, feel free to contact Singles Career Coaching, and I guarantee you will discover a new, fresh perspective.

Q: Love happens in the workplace. What is your advice to individuals who are dating up or dating down?

Regardless of whether they are dating “up or down,” I ask them to ponder a few questions:

If this relationship would cease, would it be hard to see or work with this person every day in the course of your job duties?

Could you stand your co-workers’ inevitable “whispers” around the office or workplace? If so or if not, how would you deal with it?

If you break up and your ex started dating someone else in your office, how would you feel?

Will the relationship make a negative mark on your career in the long term?

I also ask them to evaluate their career, into which they have invested a great deal of time, money and hard work, versus a relationship that may or may not be successful in the long term.

Q: What three things can job seekers do to improve their professional resumes?

1. Keep it up to date! Take it out and give it a critical look now and then; things happen so rapidly in the working world that you may often neglect to include very important successes, awards, tributes, contributions, publications, and new skills or courses you’ve taken.

2. Don’t forget to include all of your recent achievements; if you ignore your own successes, others will, too! Don’t let your success go unnoticed!

3. Also, customize your resume to be relevant to each job for which you apply. Have several “flexible” resume templates on hand for that unexpected tip or interesting job for which, by simply tweaking your resume to highlight your expertise in a certain area, you’ll be a solid contender.

Q: These days most resumes are submitted electronically. What can individuals do to make sure their application gets past the influx of resumes in order to land a first interview?

A great tip is to look for the keywords in the job description and tailor your resume to the job posting, making sure you have those keywords in your resume or cover letter. However, always be truthful about your achievements and job duties.

Q: Any other words of wisdom?
- Set goals that ignite your passions, and achieve those goals according to a structured timetable;—Discover and use your hidden talents;
- Create a fulfilling career and personal lifestyle;
- Keep moving forward in spite of obstacles.

Contact Sandra S. Sea

(888) 267-4140 telephone

(888) 257-0253 fax

info@singlescareercoaching.com

www.singlescareercoaching.com